Trump Voter Feels Betrayed By President After Reading 800 Pages Of Queer Theory. Important commentary and funny at the same time.
this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2024
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Asklemmy
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I'm just gonna leave this here with no further content...
"Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work"
@HotWheelsVroom Lmao, I also like that one very much
"It's functions include... ...being all ass backwards fuck". Magical
But I'll still add another great one - Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes (https://youtu.be/xOVQPtuKRs4)
The system specs tho LMFAO π€£π€£π€£
System Specifications:
- Makes the most irritating beeping noise you've ever heard in your goddamn life
- Fucks up everything else you hook it up to
- 'Scans for receivers', whatever the fuck that means
- Flashes random fucking words and numbers on the display screen
to this day I still occasionally mutter "it never ends, this shit..."
Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work. Replace by Sony by Apple and it still fits perfectly.
The MacBook wheel comes closest
Everything is just a few hundred clicks away.
We will be watching to see if it catches on in the business world where people have to accomplish things rather than just dicking around.
"I'll buy anything that's shiny and comes from Apple" π
The wheel. Reinvented.
God, I fucking love you, Onion...
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I love the entire "Autistic Reporter" Series for some reason lol
How do I go to prison??
The one about the memorial built in advance for a damn disaster that they all saw coming but did nothing about, except for the memorial of the future victims.
This disaster will have been preventable. All of the warning signs are here now. Yet, no one will have fucking done anything about it.
Prague's Kafka International Named Most Alienating Airport
And a 'from-16-years-back' broadside at the US approaching November:
honorable mention to New Marijuana Study Confirms Everyone Knows You're High And You Will Be Stoned Forever
because when this was originally uploaded on their website it would play a slightly different version every time you opened the page. So you'd laugh and show your friends, so then even if your (allegedly) stoner ass hadn't gotten tripped out the first time, while they're watching it and laughing you'd start sweating.
Second honorable mention to "Is The Government Spying on Schizophrenics Enough?" But I'm honestly still not sure that one's totally okay, even if I still laugh every single time I watch it. I'm not that type of mentally ill but have had people close to me who struggle enough with it and the very nature of the disorder is such that even though I laugh I've always at the same time felt it treads very much on the line.
I like the Taliban guy telling the 911 conspiracy guy that 911 was real.
Always been partial to Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck
"I heard screaming and I thought it was just someone doing an accurate impression of Glenn Beck talking normally, but then I saw the smoke."
HP Offers 'That Cloud Thing Everyone Is Talking About": https://youtu.be/9ntPxdWAWq8?si=wHKW3AJSuDnGDRq9
These comments are proof that The Onion peaked like 15 years ago. They just haven't been as funny since then.
i dont think its the onions fault, parody just got more difficult when real life is already ridiculous
Weirdly, this comment is a little hasty but only because of recent developments. ONN presumably didnβt make enough money so it was canceled, thus they couldnβt keep doing sketches like that. Now that The Onion has bought itself from its corporate owners, ONN is said to be returning. If the new ONN sucks this comment will be accurate though.
"A lot of networks report the news as it happens. But only one has the power to report the news BEFORE it happens. Through our state-of-the-art wormhole sattelite, the Onion News Network Future channel brings you exclusive news transmissions from the year 2137. Because to stay ahead in today's world, you need to know what's going to happen in tomorrow's."
And then on the map one of the states is Gay Texas LMAO
WOKE LIBERAL america be like
- wokelahoma
- they/themessee
- nonbinary dakota
- transylvania
- hannah montana
- lesbiana
- kawaii
- gay texas
- north and south queerolina
- washington H.R.T.
The MacBook Wheel. Imagine how disastrous this product would be if it actually happened.
Not to mention that was the first time I discovered the Onion.
Honestly same I didn't know who was the onion
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