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I just use "the LGBTQ community"
If that offends anyone, they're that 0.00000001% of attention-seeking twats that get upset about anything for the sole reason of making any issue about themselves, no matter what
They are also the loudest, mind you
Like I give a fuck
Hello, I'm one of those queer people.
For my two cents, I find in conversations it's easiest to refer to it as the "queer community" or "gay community." If I'm feeling an acronym, the first one I reach for is LGBT. And that's me speaking as one of those q+ folks.
Now for me, I prefer to use Queer because it's sort of an umbrella term. For instance, all lesbians are queer, but not all queer people are lesbians. It's also great for people who don't like labels, because it doesn't pigeonhole someone into a specific box.
The term "queer" has a little history behind it too. When I was in middle school, being called queer was like, the ultimate insult. It was used pejoratively, and it felt bad to hear it. Nowadays we're reclaiming the word, and it loses its evilness. That all said, you can call people "queer," but don't call a person "a queer" or else you're being insulting. It's to be used like an adjective, not a noun.
For my money, this is the most inclusive flag without singling out a particular community.
Generally speaking, I don't like an overly verbose acronym. It's part of why I stop at LGBT or LGBTQ instead of going all the way to LGBTQ+, or as my government seems to want to say, LGBTQ2IA+. In my opinion, the effort to make the community more inclusive by adding more sub-communities to the acronym has the opposite effect.
Mm, problem is op is a cishet. We can use words like queer and alphabet mafia, but they are...different from the mouth of an outsider (for want of a better word)
I find that take very problematic. Not because of your opinion on who can or cannot use words like queer, but because you aren't giving a meaningful alternative. What language should an ally use to avoid stepping on someone's toes?
Personally, I think intent is very important in this sort of context, so I don't see issue with words like queer when used earnestly in support. Though I know my experience isn't universal, and I think OP sees that and is trying to be mindful.
They do have options though - lgbt, lgbtqa, lgbtqa+, even 'gay community' are all widely used .
Although i saw an auto-transcriber turn lgbtqa into 'legittabittaque-ah" once, which i feel we all desperately need to add to our lexicon.