Ok but if you did before 10 am you might not wake up motherfucker
Another fun way to deal with assholes is to get a bunch of medium rocks and throw them into random places in the yard.
this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2025
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I happened to misinterpret the content on the bottom right part of the image for another bodypart :)
Yeah I thought it was muscles for a second too before I realized it was a cock
If you must have a lawn (e.g. HOA, personal preference), I strongly recommend doing away with this nonsense and go electric. Better yet, stay ahead of battery obsolescence and get a plug-in model, provided your yard is small enough. No more gas, oil changes, clogged filters, re-gapping spark plugs, and no more dislocating your shoulder trying to start the damn thing. Just keep the blade clean and sharp and it'll run for a decade at least.
Or get a reel mower and call it a day
Just get a Makita or some other power tool company that lets you use the same battery for your drill, mower and a bunch of other things. Make sure it's a reputable one where the ecosystem will be around a long time.
Lawns are friggin stupid.
Creeping thyme is so much nicer. Bee-friendly, mosquito repellant, smells nice, and you can eat it.
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Imagine having property with a lawn to mow
My mower always started first time, every time.
Because it was electric 😌
and by mower I mean penis.
That's why I leave my window shades open
I convinced my truck drivin', Trump votin', gun totin', beer swillin' redneck neighbor to switch to an electric mower purely because he was envious of my own electric one and how it just runs when you press the button, without fail and every single time. It was actually kind of hilarious.
I have got 9 people to buy electric lawn mowers. Electric lawn mowers are amazing.
You can one up him buy getting one of those automated ones that run automatically every couple of days. Get it to run at night and he will be amazed how you keep a perfect lawn without him ever seeing you mow
Careful running those at night. Depending on local wildlife, you might end up waking up to a mowed hedgehog.
I'll get you THIS time, Sonic.
I feel there is real life experience to this post…
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Don't mow nearly that often, you need to give the grass time to grow so local wildlife can try to go through a lifecycle when it can. Constantly mowing your grass is terrible for overall biodiversity, lowers soil quality and is bad for pollinators. Only mow like every two weeks if you can.
Having the grass already ruins the biodiversity
Doesn't matter, mowing often will make the problem worse regardless of what's being mowed. Plus, there are tons of local fauna that will use grass to hide, live and grow during the time you'll be not mowing.
Would it be better to plant native grasses? Absolutely. But we should still encourage whatever biodiversity we can to help our local area. Every little bit helps, because it's not just the grass that you're helping by leaving it to grow.
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Why would you run it at night? They're not as loud as petrol mowers, but spinning blades are not exactly quiet when mowing
The sound is negligible. You wouldn't even notice it running.
Oh neato then. I had a full-sized corded lawn mower back when I lived in a house where I was burdened with a lawn. It was quieter, but still loud.
Glad to hear that there are quieter ones.
Or the properties are just so huge you wouldn't disturb anyone haha (I lived in a inner suburban place where the next house was less than 5m wall to wall)
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All of the above but Trump votin'. My wife is happy to push the electric DeWalt around. First electric mower, scored it new for $199, bought a pair of batteries and a charger. Pretty happy.
Neighbor chunked a very nice looking ICE mower. Going to take it down the street to the retired small-engine guy. He'll probably charge $20 + parts, maybe $40 tops. But now I'm wondering if I can even sell it for a profit. I could haul it to camp for random chopping work, but then I got another gas engine to fuck with. Probably not worth it.
At my job (Lowe's) we sell almost all battery mowers. As cheap as ICE mowers are, not seeing them run out the door nearly as fast. Haven't seen one sold yet, but I'm outside garden.
Anyone got tips on a battery weed eater? Mine's pretty well shot, eats full batteries in minutes. Thinking on trying EGO stuff from Lowe's since I get a discount. Inside lawn and garden expert told me they're the best on the market ATM. ?
I've got a few ego tools and the only one I'm slightly disappointed with is the mower. The outlet design isn't great and can clog up if you mow anything denser than grass.
String trimmer, leaf blower and snow blowers (both single and dual stage) all work great.
They're all functionally interchangeable as far as I can tell, but only conceptually and not in the sense that your batteries will fit all the different machines because the manufacturers have seen to it that it doesn't work this way (because fuck you, that's why).
If your machine is dying in minutes the issue is probably that the battery is roached, not the machine. Lithium-whatever batteries do not last forever, and generally the ones in outdoor equipment are not charged or stored with much care, or in ideal temperature conditions, etc.
The secret is to just buy Chinese knockoff off-brand batteries. "But," all the oldheads will cry, "Those are Chinese garbage!"
Yes, they are. But so are the "OEM" batteries. The only real difference is the audacity of the markup; you may as well pay what they're actually worth rather than what your local big box store thinks people ought to believe they're worth. Before you throw away your weedwhacker, get a knockoff battery pack from Aliexpress or Amazon or whatever and give it a shot. Worst case you're out thirty bucks, but the gamble is probably better than buying a whole new weedwhacker.
I have all Ryobi crap, for the most part, because that's where I got roped in initially and that way I only have to stock one kind of battery. I have two genuine batteries that came with my stuff, but all the rest are knockoffs. The knockoffs are everything the genuine batteries are, but 1/6 of the cost. Actually, due to the perpetual slow march of battery tech improvements, one of my knockoffs is legitimately a noticeably higher capacity than my oldest genuine Ryobi batteries were even when they were brand new.
I have several batteries, different ages and usages, seems random how long one will last. I'm thinking there's too much resistance on the spinning bits as it seems to get hot too fast. As always, I'll do my best to fix before buying new, but it's a drag constantly fixing shit to avoid feeding the beast.
You might have crap all wrapped around the axle behind the spool. It's probably worth taking that apart and seeing if it's packed full of weeds.
All this electric mower love in the comments and I'm looking at fixing the carb on my 20 year old gas mower because the arm broke off my electric after 2 years.
Did you crank it too hard?
Thought OP got caught cranking something else for a second there.
AROOO!
CRANK THAT HOG BROTHER
On the first pull
is that what they're calling it now
You sleep with a full deli's worth of bologna and ham laid out on your chest? Wow, talk about living the dream.
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In an assumption that those reading the comments here are lawn cutting folks, please consider not cutting your lawn at all, or if that's not feasible at least reducing how often or how large an area you do it to. Nature cannot survive the onslaught of every home on the planet having a perfectly neat 10mm tall patch of grass and nothing else. We need diversity.
See the sidebar here for more information: https://slrpnk.net/c/nolawns
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This meme is as old as cranking mowers.
The neighbor:
Bro can hold his breath for at least 20 minutes
How I sleep when that aquarium of sea monkeys I ate a year ago reach full maturity.
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