this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2026
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I would rather die
An unusual reaction to the prospect of having your life saved, but far easier to arrange than other solutions I guess.
There is no greater disappointment for me than biting into something without suspecting a thing, and my taste buds then suddenly being assaulted by the vileness dubbed "coconut flavor".
In case my remains are consumed by animals or plants, I can't put them through something I hate so much. I mean, do we even know how long this will make you taste like coconut?!
I used to think coconut water tasted a little funny (odd mix of sweet, earthy, and umami, not like the coconut flesh at all). Then one day after a particularly long hot hike, I tried it again. I'd been hiking through a natural area that had lots of coconut palms. Crews had been clearing out some invasive species. This is relevant because they'd been using the same trails and had cut open and presumably drunk the water from dozens of coconuts along the way as they worked. These guys must know something I didn't, so I looked into coconut water as a drink because I'd never heard of such a thing at the time.
Anyway, this is all to say that I gave coconut water a second chance when my body really needed it and although it tasted exactly as I remembered it I suddenly found that it tasted fucking amazing. I've been a convert since then. I used to drink Gatorade, but now Gatorade just tastes salty, like Kool-aid made with ball sweat by comparison.