Rant

This isn't an outwardly angry rant, more like a "I need to process wtf happened" rant. also this was posted at 3am local time.

Not too long ago we had quizzes involving programming. The first one was sort of basic, the most complicated part of it was implementing if-else statements in order to calculate discounts based on item types, and if I remember correctly a loop. So I caught up with a friend, asked how it went for him. He mentioned having to use a clanker and I was shocked since I thought he knew how to code, so I asked him if he knew the basics of our current programming language. He said he knew the basics, just that the instructions were complicated.

We learned C in the first semester, by the way, so we should have known the general structure of loops and if-elses. Yes, we ChatGPT'd the hell out of that course, but only because our instructor assumed we had some base level knowledge of programming even when we didn't, so we got swamped with relatively complicated projects and didn't have the opportunity to study because we had to devote time into making a workable project. Also we had 25 units at that time.

I would like to mention that I have been doing workbook-style self-learning since the class started, since that friend of mine said that this particular teacher wouldn't teach us thoroughly in person. I worked through the fundamentals because I didn't have the chance to learn them properly in the 1st Semester. And I was enjoying the whole process of problem-solving, so I did it for most of my free time. The best thing I learned was the value of prolonged metaphorical head banging. Slowly what I was learning became ingrained in my muscle memory.

During our free time my friend follows me around and usually he watches TikTok on his phone, with the occasional game in-between. I already told him and showed off the site where I get my exercises. Anyway, I didn't know there was a 2nd quiz that day, and it was hands-on programming using concepts I had not reached in my workbook and I hadn't studied them yet (my fault), and I knew about it only with an hour or 30 minutes left. I actually didn't get the chance to try coding practice with it as at some point I didn't have access to a table to put my laptop on. So I pulled up my learning module and saw the general structure of how classes and objects worked, so I thought "Oh it's just like methods, but with separate files involved". Meanwhile this guy was watching TikTok and at some point pulled up a "Learn Java in 14 minutes" video from YouTube and sped it up.

I came into the quiz clueless as hell. We had two hours to implement the program, and we used the computers. The first hour I was trying to learn, through trial and error running the IDE, how classes and objects worked and how they interacted with the main program. A literal hour. During that time I was vaguely aware that two people were caught cheating. When I got to make it work I was like, "Oh, it's all coming together". So I read the instructions, did the print statements/structure first, implemented the logic and though my final code had a single bug before the time ran out I was proud of myself as it was a far cry from the first semester when I didn't know how to code at all.

So, I asked my friend wtf happened while I was in that flow state. He said 10 people were caught cheating and there were more who cheated and didn't get caught, including him. The fuck? 10 people is around a third of my class... Oh and he didn't learn Java in 14 minutes.

Absolute "solvet saeculum in favilla" <insert Mozart's face into the absolute cinema meme>

I am AFAB which will inform the context of what I will say next. The next day he invited me out to dinner, which I'm pretty sure was him trying to indirectly get me out on a date. I didn't really accept it and said I prefer to get home as early as I could. Then he gave me a decorative flower, and said it's an appreciation gift if I wouldn't accept the confession. He had confessed to me several months ago, and I rejected it. Due to the reason of not being able to connect with others as I'm often masking because of my neurodivergence plus dysphoria makes me feel like my body ain't mine. Not only that, I was raised by a (probably aromantic or demiromantic) mother who told me to focus on my studies and after that enjoy life for a while.

But another reason was because of this gen z personality! I didn't really care about it in a friend but when he reminded me of the possibility of having a partner I definitely don't want someone who spends the bulk of their time scrolling, and I have done that occasionally with youtube shorts. Yes there's educational content, but passively learning is miles different from actively learning. I shudder to think about the time I had wasted in the black hole of shortform content. Not only that but he spends a lot of time just following me around, even though I'd be busy with the coding exercises. I know he has other friends who would be more interactive. There was also a time I went to a club stall (this was before the first confession) and I expressed a slight interest in joining. He mentioned he might join as well. After a while I thought about this university's academic load and decided I wouldn't join, so he said he wouldn't join, because I won't. Idk why but that feels so... unindependent?

Because of the whole confession thing I kept on thinking back to those quizzes. I can't believe that our generation can't even be bothered to learn basic skills and instead would just waste a cumulative amount of time on entertainment. I feel like I'm sounding like a boomer but I'm definitely noticing it. Yes mental energy is a thing, but even in the darkest moments of my life I knew that if I did nothing everything will fall apart or rot and get even worse and some days I really had to force myself to act, either through sheer force of will or autopilot. I know Gen Z is experiencing a multitude of problems but I don't like the idea of us being helpless at all and being strung along by circumstances and only fulfilling our base desires. It's hedonistic in a bad way. And I don't know about you but I feel like mental stamina has to be cultivated in the same way physical stamina is.

Which reminds me of a teacher I had who was a sort of world-class researcher. She told me that back in the day (she mentioned being a senior citizen), modern conveniences weren't a thing. Yet humans still liked fun and toys. Like Spinning Tops. Making one was a neighborhood project and since they didn't even know where to buy sandpaper they broke glass to smoothen out the carved wood. And they did some thingamajimg to insert the blunt end of the nail into the top (I forgot how). Basically, if there's a will, there's a way. That's the human motto. It also reminds me how kids back in my day (oh no I'm sounding old now) would play with toys instead of watching iPad. There's something special about badly drawing something and imagining that an entire story is happening. Are kids these days still able to imagine without a well-defined image? Shit, AI images feel even more sinister now.