Rant

I'm perma-banned on Reddit for accidental ban evasion (I don't really want to get into it), so I came here as an alternative. But there isnt NEARLY as many communities or members as there are on reddit. But I cant go back there cus they perma banned me, that was 2 years ago when they first banned me.

Lemmy just isn't the same, and I wish I could go back to Reddit, but that site is arguably more nerve-wracking to be on than anything else. What can I do?? What other alternatives do I have?

And no I cant really just not use reddit cus I primarily used it to ask questions about specific stuff or if I wanted someones opinion about a product or some thing. Reddit is often more useful than google is.

idk im just kinda upset and at a fuckin loss. What kinda website perma bans a user for life and logs all their info just to make sure they don't come back?!

This isn't an outwardly angry rant, more like a "I need to process wtf happened" rant. also this was posted at 3am local time.

Not too long ago we had quizzes involving programming. The first one was sort of basic, the most complicated part of it was implementing if-else statements in order to calculate discounts based on item types, and if I remember correctly a loop. So I caught up with a friend, asked how it went for him. He mentioned having to use a clanker and I was shocked since I thought he knew how to code, so I asked him if he knew the basics of our current programming language. He said he knew the basics, just that the instructions were complicated.

We learned C in the first semester, by the way, so we should have known the general structure of loops and if-elses. Yes, we ChatGPT'd the hell out of that course, but only because our instructor assumed we had some base level knowledge of programming even when we didn't, so we got swamped with relatively complicated projects and didn't have the opportunity to study because we had to devote time into making a workable project. Also we had 25 units at that time.

I would like to mention that I have been doing workbook-style self-learning since the class started, since that friend of mine said that this particular teacher wouldn't teach us thoroughly in person. I worked through the fundamentals because I didn't have the chance to learn them properly in the 1st Semester. And I was enjoying the whole process of problem-solving, so I did it for most of my free time. The best thing I learned was the value of prolonged metaphorical head banging. Slowly what I was learning became ingrained in my muscle memory.

During our free time my friend follows me around and usually he watches TikTok on his phone, with the occasional game in-between. I already told him and showed off the site where I get my exercises. Anyway, I didn't know there was a 2nd quiz that day, and it was hands-on programming using concepts I had not reached in my workbook and I hadn't studied them yet (my fault), and I knew about it only with an hour or 30 minutes left. I actually didn't get the chance to try coding practice with it as at some point I didn't have access to a table to put my laptop on. So I pulled up my learning module and saw the general structure of how classes and objects worked, so I thought "Oh it's just like methods, but with separate files involved". Meanwhile this guy was watching TikTok and at some point pulled up a "Learn Java in 14 minutes" video from YouTube and sped it up.

I came into the quiz clueless as hell. We had two hours to implement the program, and we used the computers. The first hour I was trying to learn, through trial and error running the IDE, how classes and objects worked and how they interacted with the main program. A literal hour. During that time I was vaguely aware that two people were caught cheating. When I got to make it work I was like, "Oh, it's all coming together". So I read the instructions, did the print statements/structure first, implemented the logic and though my final code had a single bug before the time ran out I was proud of myself as it was a far cry from the first semester when I didn't know how to code at all.

So, I asked my friend wtf happened while I was in that flow state. He said 10 people were caught cheating and there were more who cheated and didn't get caught, including him. The fuck? 10 people is around a third of my class... Oh and he didn't learn Java in 14 minutes.

Absolute "solvet saeculum in favilla" <insert Mozart's face into the absolute cinema meme>

I am AFAB which will inform the context of what I will say next. The next day he invited me out to dinner, which I'm pretty sure was him trying to indirectly get me out on a date. I didn't really accept it and said I prefer to get home as early as I could. Then he gave me a decorative flower, and said it's an appreciation gift if I wouldn't accept the confession. He had confessed to me several months ago, and I rejected it. Due to the reason of not being able to connect with others as I'm often masking because of my neurodivergence plus dysphoria makes me feel like my body ain't mine. Not only that, I was raised by a (probably aromantic or demiromantic) mother who told me to focus on my studies and after that enjoy life for a while.

But another reason was because of this gen z personality! I didn't really care about it in a friend but when he reminded me of the possibility of having a partner I definitely don't want someone who spends the bulk of their time scrolling, and I have done that occasionally with youtube shorts. Yes there's educational content, but passively learning is miles different from actively learning. I shudder to think about the time I had wasted in the black hole of shortform content. Not only that but he spends a lot of time just following me around, even though I'd be busy with the coding exercises. I know he has other friends who would be more interactive. There was also a time I went to a club stall (this was before the first confession) and I expressed a slight interest in joining. He mentioned he might join as well. After a while I thought about this university's academic load and decided I wouldn't join, so he said he wouldn't join, because I won't. Idk why but that feels so... unindependent?

Because of the whole confession thing I kept on thinking back to those quizzes. I can't believe that our generation can't even be bothered to learn basic skills and instead would just waste a cumulative amount of time on entertainment. I feel like I'm sounding like a boomer but I'm definitely noticing it. Yes mental energy is a thing, but even in the darkest moments of my life I knew that if I did nothing everything will fall apart or rot and get even worse and some days I really had to force myself to act, either through sheer force of will or autopilot. I know Gen Z is experiencing a multitude of problems but I don't like the idea of us being helpless at all and being strung along by circumstances and only fulfilling our base desires. It's hedonistic in a bad way. And I don't know about you but I feel like mental stamina has to be cultivated in the same way physical stamina is.

Which reminds me of a teacher I had who was a sort of world-class researcher. She told me that back in the day (she mentioned being a senior citizen), modern conveniences weren't a thing. Yet humans still liked fun and toys. Like Spinning Tops. Making one was a neighborhood project and since they didn't even know where to buy sandpaper they broke glass to smoothen out the carved wood. And they did some thingamajimg to insert the blunt end of the nail into the top (I forgot how). Basically, if there's a will, there's a way. That's the human motto. It also reminds me how kids back in my day (oh no I'm sounding old now) would play with toys instead of watching iPad. There's something special about badly drawing something and imagining that an entire story is happening. Are kids these days still able to imagine without a well-defined image? Shit, AI images feel even more sinister now.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/63574613

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/63574609

I was gonna post this on Reddit, but I got permanently banned a couple months ago, and because of that I decided to post this on Lemmy.

That said, I really like Half-Life. I think it's a pretty good game series, especially the 2004 Valve game Half-Life 2. I also really like Alyx Vance, and I'm very glad Valve did a Half-Life game that's focused on her (Half-Life: Alyx). However, the post-credits scene does have a cliffhanger for a potential Half-Life 3 game, and for a while, people have been wondering when will that game be released, but lately people have been longing for HL3 to the point where they go crazy over it, as evidenced in the subreddit "r/HalfLife3". I don't have to attach images of this subreddit because if you want an idea, it's just people going crazy over whenever HL3 will be released or NOT.

Being someone who really likes the Half-Life games as much as the next person, let me just say this simply: who cares when HL3 will be released or NOT? I get it: you wanna play Half-Life 3, but let me say that Valve is a company with employees who are real people with real lives, and those employees can sometimes be a bit too busy often to focus on Half-Life 3. From as far as I know, Valve doesn't even allow crunch time, and allows their staff (developers, programmers, artists, writers, coders, designer, mo-cap actors and such) to work at their own pace (or "Valve time"). Some people think that Half-Life 3 was already finished and Valve's just keeping it as a surprise for their anniversary, but people like Chet Faliszek (who worked for Valve until 2017) highly doubt that, stating that he has "never heard of a game shipping where they scrambled and then had to release a day zero patch or even a day one patch to fix any of the bugs".

Now let me just say that I too have hopes for Half-Life 3 being released, but I don't always go crazy for whether or not the game gets released, like everytime I come across something that says something like "Hey, Half-Life 3 is still not dead in the water", I just say "okay cool", and then I just move onto something else because I obviously have a lot of bigger fish to fry than Half-Life 3 leaks (ie: Half-Life 3 is rumored to come out as a Steam Machine launch title next spring or so).

So let me say again: who cares when will HL3 be released? It could be released sometime this year, could be released tomorrow, who knows and who cares?! You gotta keep in mind that Valve is a busy company run by busy people. You gotta move on from the Half-Life 3 release insanity. IF you want HL3, just make it yourself. Learn game development, talk to other game programmers, practice your craft, and you'll probably make a good mod that picks up where the post-credit scene for Half-Life Alyx left off (or the very sad ending scene for Half-Life 2 Episode 2 left off).

Maybe Half-Life 3 will never be released, maybe the game might be released - who knows and who cares? The next time you post something insane about Half-Life 3, just do yourself a favor - take the time you usually take to post Half-Life 3 stuff to go outside, touch grass, breathe fresh air, and also talk to people and start dating and such. Life is a very beautiful thing, and you should take the time to enjoy every minute of it and such.

Oh and speaking of dating, I've saw posts from people saying "if Half-Life 3 gets announced/released, I'll get the courage to ask my crush out" (something like that). All I can say is this: it DOESN'T martter when would HL3 be released. What really matters is that nothing's stopping you, and nothing (NOT even an announcement and release for a highly anticipated sequel for a popular video game) can determine when will you ask your crush out. Love is very important, and romance is beautiful. However, if you're a bit too shy or nervous, I think I know of a solution: improv! The act of performing theatre and comedy that's unplanned and unscripted with the main rule being "yes, and", as in having to agree with another improviser's idea and also expand on that, as in: "IMPROVISER 1: This is a pretty good meal we're having. IMPROVISER 2: Yes, and I think it needs a bit more salt. Maybe some pepper or chili powder, maybe."

There are plenty of ways to take up improv (ie: improv can be performed solo), but I think it's best to go to an improv class in person.

According to PsychologyToday, studies have shown that improv theatre can help reduce social anxiety, uncertainty intolerance and stress, as well as boosts interpersonal and performance confidence and creativity. This means that the more you take up improv and put yourself out there, the less shy you'd pretty much when talking to people and asking them out. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/play-your-way-sane/202303/7-research-backed-benefits-of-improv-comedy

Even if you're shy, let me just say that you have the courage and motivation to flirt, ask someone out on a date and such. You're kind, you're passionate and you can do this. You got this. We believe in you. Good luck.

I know the answer is they're fucking racists, but for the sake of ranting I'll pretend to look for a better reason.

They claim it should be an American. He fucking IS American. Puerto Ricans are as American as Nebraskans. Puerto Rico is part of the Untied States. Also, have these fuckers even watched the super bowl before? It's been done by non-americans lots of times!

They claim it should be someone who speaks English and appeals to an American audience. Spanish America is part of America. Even as a Canadian, I know that the Spanish language and Latino culture is interwoven with Untied States culture because I grew up watching American shows that teach Spanish. Barney. Dora the Explorer. Maya and Miguel. I can't imagine being so damn hateful as to not want a large percentage of my country to feel included. To claim I'm being excluded because things are in a different language than English sometimes. Oh no, I'm so oppressed by having to press 1 for service in English. You all probably had no issue dancing to the macarena without knowing what it's about, why is it a problem to listen to Spanish language music now?

They claim it shouldn't be him because they never heard of him. I never heard of him before this either, but I realize the world doesn't revolve around me! Just because you personally never heard of him doesn't change that he is an accomplished musician who is very popular and won many awards.

They claim Bad Bunny hates America because he made the smart decision not to tour in the mainland Untied States for fear of ICE raids at his concerts. How dare he recognize that the regime is a danger to his fans. How dare he recognize the horrors the regime is committing.

Of course I know looking for a remotely good faith reason is an exercise in futility. The truth is the Untied States has a lot of racist fucks who just got permission to be out and proud racist fucks

Weird one, but there's always that feeling that it's my mistake. It's just too suspicious.

So the matter is one of those cheap game consoles you see on AliExpress. This one could do PS1 emulation as well, so sounds cool.

Welp, first a software issue. It wouldn't boot. I contacted the seller, he said it worked, and has been laying unused for 2 years, and that I can find guides on how to fix it myself.
OK, the software is booting from SD card and happens to be Linux based. In fact, it's just EmuELEC with "Kinhank" skin. Checking the hashes on there, I found SquashFS file to be corrupted. I tried Manjaro ARM unsuccessfully, and then went back to EmuELEC, also copying the required device tree blob image which happened to survive.

Software fixed. Mostly. I don't know if the ROMs are OK. By the way, there's also a random .exe with trash icon that gets 29 detections on VirusTotal.
But anyway, this would still fly with me.

Issue 2, the controllers don't work. Just some cheap ones with 2.4GHz dongles. I found others with same issue based on status LEDs, and the solutions are none. I tried them with my PC, I tried them with the original software just replacing the SquashFS, I tried in another room just in case it's RFI, I tried connecting one of the controllers to 3V PSU. Nothing.

So I once again wrote to the seller.
But now I feel bad. How the fuck does just everything break?

Our rulers need to make sure that if we're trying to fight them, we're making them richer as we do it. Anything else is unacceptable.

It isn't just Trump supporters. I've been having arguments with a friend who is most definitely NOT a Trump supporter. We're both Canadian and she has been obsessively talking about how people are foolish for thinking Trump can invade Canada or Greenland. Her obsession makes me think she's secretly scared too. Methinks she doth protest too much. I get that it's scary but it isn't going to stop being real if you deny it. Trump invading other countries is a very real possibility and various governments are taking it seriously, including Canada. Our government knows it's a real possibility, stop being deluded and saying it isn't. If he doesn't attack, I think it'll be because the international community put their foot down. I certainly see no reason to think the Untied States congress will stop him.

She keeps saying it can't happen because of various laws that would theoretically stop it. NATO. congress. The military being required to disobey illegal orders. The american people won't stand for it? What in the fuck does she think they're going to do about it? Vote months after it happens? She also doesn't believe he can stop elections.

Believing that laws will stop any of this crap at this point is delusional. Laws don't matter if they're not enforced. It's tantamount to saying it's impossible for me to be killed by a serial killer because that would be illegal. But with the serial killer, the reason they have a chance to kill me is because they haven't been caught yet. With Trump, he's been openly defying the laws and still isn't being stopped.

Context: I am not in danger, I am doing okay for the situation, I will be fine. No worrying needed on that part. I am actively seeking mental health support, I will be okay.

As a general thing, suicide is bad right? I certainly haven't appreciated it happening around me, and it sucks. In general, I'd like for people to feel like life is worth living.

But there's a thing here where people want you alive, but they don't want to help you make a life worth living. You can put tons of effort into everything you do, into the people in your life, but you start thinking maybe life isn't worth the constant struggle, the endless unrewarding hell, and somehow you're being selfish for it.

I've never had stronger feelings towards ending everything than I had tonight. And still I decided living was the best option. But it still fucking sucks. I still have to keep on with this shitty existence, maintaining my shitty life, in the hopes that people will stop doing things to me that slowly tear me down over and over again. I'd leave if I could, but I financially and socially can't, and I kind of still don't want to, because I love my partner even if she left it half a decade too late to sort her stuff out.

The neighbours keep sending construction crews to coincidentally destroy my property, my industry was somehow taken over by garbage fake robots, my martial arts instructor turned into a fascist, and I'm supposed to rebuild my life when the whole world is quicksand. I literally do not have the executive function to keep going under these circumstances.

I still think living is the right call, but fuck me the world could throw us a fucking bone once in a while. This whole thing is bullshit.

/rant

Once every year or two I'll have a vivid dream where I fall in love with a completely fictional dream character. It usually involves some sort of loss of them at the end, whether by dream or waking. And it fucks me up for like, days.

It's wild to me that the psychological and chemical reaction to a dream can replicate the feelings of heartbreak so distinctly, particularly because I'm not a person who feels a strong sense of loneliness all too often.

What also gets me going, is that it challenges my history with waking love. I'm not entirely sure if I've ever felt romantic love for a waking person as acutely as these occasions I've fallen in love with a dream character.

This bothers me a little bit, because I've on multiple occasion questioned if I'm able to feel a genuine, healthy romantic love for others-- the very reason why I don't involve myself in romantic relationships anymore, since I feel it's unfair to all involved.

This will be on my mind all week.

i cant get them out of my head hfjfjghg my brain and body are mean to me :(

I mean, I'm glad they refrain from drunk driving, but they're doing right for the wrong reasons.

Your motivation for not drunk driving should be that you don't want to risk harming or killing innocent people. Does that not enter your head?

If you say you won't drive drunk because there are cops everywhere, you're missing the point. You're saying it would be totally fine to risk innocent lives if not for the risk of getting caught.

I just got banned from SpaceBattles for an introduction post. Not for doxxing, not for threats, not for spam—just for expressing opinions and interests that didn’t fit the approved worldview. Apparently that’s enough now.

What’s wild is that this isn’t an isolated case. I looked back at an older thread out of curiosity, and roughly 80% of the people who were active when it started are now banned. Read that again. That’s not “keeping the peace.” That’s systematic purging. When most of the original voices disappear, you’re not moderating a community—you’re curating an echo chamber, enforcing ideological cleansing. Strip away the forum UI and polite language, and what you’re left with is authoritarian repression: a system where dissenting voices are removed until only the sanctioned narrative remains.

In the real world, this kind of logic doesn’t just stop at bans and deletions—it ends with people being permanently silenced. History is full of examples. Look at Jeju Island, where American-backed South Korean forces massacred huge portions of the population for protesting, all under the excuse of “restoring order.” That’s where this mindset leads when it’s given real power.

SpaceBattles used to market itself as a place for creative freedom. Now it feels like a NATO-flavored circlejerk where deviation from consensus is treated as a personal offense. There’s an orthodoxy, and if you don’t kneel to it, you’re out. No warning, no real engagement—just deletion and exile.

The irony is hard to miss. People can openly believe in a supernatural entity watching everyone’s thoughts and actions, and that’s treated as normal, untouchable, beyond critique. But have an opinion that challenges mainstream political narratives, media framing, or power structures? Suddenly it’s an inquisition. Labels come out, motives are assigned, and the ban hammer drops.

We’re constantly lectured about “authoritarianism” abroad, yet this kind of censorship is defended as virtuous because it’s done by the “right” people. At least some countries are honest about controlling speech. Here, it’s wrapped in the language of safety and community standards while dissenting voices quietly vanish. Call me cynical, but when a forum erases most of its long-term users for wrongthink, that’s not a healthy community—it’s ideological hygiene.

What really gets me is the smugness. The absolute certainty that silencing is the same as being right. That deleting posts is the same as winning arguments. These are the modern book burners: not torching paper, but scrubbing perspectives, rewriting history, and pretending the absence of disagreement proves consensus.

If your ideas are so fragile they can’t survive contact with uncomfortable opinions, maybe they’re not as solid as you think. And if a forum can’t tolerate a blunt introduction post, it’s probably not about “rules”—it’s about control.

I had this idea about process food companies pushed me to eat unprocessed foods because it's cheaper.

It's a combination of shrinkflation and making foods addictive leaves me unsatisfied with the amount I take home, because I still have cravings after even after eating half a box of sweets. Plus seeing portion sizes get smaller messes with me, because Everytime I recognize a product it look physically smaller.

I like cooking things like rice because it kill craving and hunger and if I make too much I have leftovers.

I rather satisfied than constantly craving

I remember going through the adhd med regime & having depressive episodes, low appetite & lack of interest in anything. I don't want my kid to go through that. They are having behavioral issues though, & something needs to change. I often feel like I'm failing them, even though my spouse & I are taking all the steps & communicating with their physician & teachers regularly.

Anyway, tldr : parenting is hard AF.

The Untied States is literally becoming like nazi Germany and I don't know if people understand that I'm not exaggerating. I legitimately can't tell if people realize that America is now a fascist dictatorship, likely to soon go full on nazi Germany and make it explicitly illegal to be part of certain minority groups, at which point it may be too late for people to leave. I don't know if people around me understand that that's not an exaggeration.

People just keep on going to Disneyland as if it's perfectly safe. It's like watching people go to a store that's literally on fire and nobody is even trying to put it out. It's like people think if the fire department isn't reacting then it isn't happening

and my grandmother thinks it's funny to tell me canada is going to be the 51st state. Yes, so hilarious the fire might soon consume our house too

As a leftist I have been arguing with anyone on the right to some unhealthy degree. Seems like either the platforms I do use are just shrinking or the right side of the political spectrum aren't married to anything and pretty dispassionate now. I can attach trump but they aren't going to defend trump.

I would ignore anyone that would agree with me politically in the past, like they're cool, it's just wasn't the same rush you get when destroy someone's core beliefs you disagree politically

Recently I have been helping people that are political closer to me and getting out more. I'm not going to start conflict with them, because I'm on my journey of solidarity and I want to try working with people. It's been rewarding in a different sense, seeing a real live person in front of you be greatful or supportive is awesome, but it isn't the high as seeing someone someone's core beliefs just get crushed.

• Penis shaped
• Smells weird
• Is a berry but refuses to taste good
• Mushy
• Only enjoyable when completely hidden in bread

I don't know if it's because of the new iPhone update or what but it's obnoxiously bad now. The predictive text is always wrong and it types out whole sentences when I'm not looking and I look up and it's nowhere near what I was going to say. It corrects words that are spelt correctly into words that are grammatically incorrect or actively misspelt and it's absolutely bonkers nuts. I feel like it was actually good like ten years ago maybe? And I don't know if it's enshittification, AI being used that's hot garbage, or a bunch of programmers trying to justify their jobs by adding totally unnecessary updates untill it all crumbles into a gigantic pile of shit, but I'm losing my shit about it man. I switched to gboard but that's also annoying me, but that could just be a learning curve with the slight differences. It hasn't actively misspelt anything for me yet or tried to insert an entire sentence I didn't want in there so that's good.

I swear to fucking god I'm just going to turn it off and you'll all be subjected to my horrible typos and everyone will think I'm even dumber than they already think I am.

Fuck this optimism. We need realism. And I don't mean pessimism, I mean realism. Pessimism is assuming nothing will change for the better. Optimism is assuming troubles will pass without you having to do anything. Realism is adjusting the sails.

This isn't inevitably going to end after the midterms or after the next scheduled presidential election. Those responsible aren't inevitably going to be prosecuted. It'll only happen if someone makes it happen.

Everyone needs to stop assuming this will pass. The world needs to gear up to protect itself, America needs to do something about this mess. The sooner America and the rest of the world recognizes that America is now a fascist dictatorship, the sooner something might be able to be done about it.

what in the ever living hell is with a garbage quality of corded sub $5 headphones. why must they all have those stupid trash silicone tips that fall off and don't fit. why in the ever living fuck is there ZERO bass... 10 year old FREE headphones were literally better in all regards. makes absolutely no sense. it's actually hurting my brain listening to these prices of shit

There is no such thing as competition. As soon as a business does something that sets it apart, it's immediately hounded by business school people who want to profit off of lowering standards and raising prices.

It's why everything is so expensive and wages are trash. The whole point of going to business school is to ensure that businesses are always doing the bare minimum while charging the maximum people are willing to pay.

I often see people say that the majority of America is against Trump. How did he come to be democratically elected if the majority are against him? I know technically he didn't get the majority of votes, he got just under 50%, but if all the non-voters cared enough, they could have stopped him from becoming president. I know Kamala Harris wasn't the best choice either; I know it sucks that there are only two viable options in an election, but that's the way it is. You have to make the best of a bad situation and participate in the election to prevent the fascist takeover.

When I point out that the majority could have prevented this, I get told a lot of Americans didn't vote, as if that absolves them. That means the majority either voted for Trump or didn't care enough to prevent this. If the majority were against him and gave enough of a fuck about what happens to their country, they'd have voted to prevent this.

You don't get to refrain from participating and then say you aren't responsible for the outcome. Is this the reason so many university students refuse to study? They think if they don't study, it makes them not responsible for the outcome of the exam? When I was in university, I heard a lot of people complain that they weren't ready for the exam because they didn't study, seemingly oblivious that that was a choice they made. Now people tell me a lot of Americans didn't vote with that same attitude, as if CHOOSING not to vote was somehow beyond their control and not their responsibility

• Mostly water
• Difficult to cut
• Seems indecisive
• Pronunciation inconsistencies

I used to enroll in a school where every week, you'll see students being whipped either by teachers, discipline masters or the administration. I tried myself to avoid being in trouble and not get beaten but that failed as I got beaten every year in the school for any small mistake I made. I remember the time I got 10 hard strokes on my palms because I assisted in cheating in an exam. Imagine those red throbbing hands and you're still trying to complete an exam. That's why I decided not to help people in exams. If you enrolled in that school and you didn't get beaten, congrats, you're an anomaly. This is cuz every student during the whole duration of the school year get beaten at least once. And I'm saying this cuz my class was collectively punished by cane. Sometimes when there's noise in my class, a teacher or discipline master just decides to beat the whole class including the students that didn't make noise and I was beaten too.

I was beaten for either coming late, forgetting to do assignments and failing some subjects. Most of the time I come early, but when I come late, it's usually because of a short program that forces me to come to school before 6:30 AM and if I come after, 2 strokes of cane, even at 6:31 AM. I hated those times. I was beaten for failing tests, kneeling down and opening my palms to receive either 5 or 6 strokes of cane. One assignment that I didn't finish, I was flogged by holding my desk and the teacher whipped me in the butt 5 strokes.

Sometimes, I do manage to avoid canes but my friends and classmates didn't. They got beaten a lot for noisemaking, sometimes having to go out of class and receive strokes of cane on the school yard. Even in class, you get beaten for talking while the teacher's talking. Girls were also beaten too. Mostly on their palms but there were a few teachers that beat them on the butt sometimes. I would always feel sad when they start crying on the middle of receiving their strokes and the teacher would still beat them until they have finished with their strokes. Can you imagine being in that class, seeing grown ass men with canes hit the girls on their asses and then see them uncontrollably cry but you can only do nothing about it because you know that you could get a similar or worse treatment. Yeah, I saw all that and became a little emotional. They got beaten either for noisemaking, failing subjects or forgetting to do assignments. One time after the mock exam results were published, I managed to barely pass and because of that I avoided being flogged but majority of the class failed and some discipline master whipped them really hard on their palms to the point I saw visible bruises on their palms and hands the next day. I couldn't do anything about it.

When you trigger the teachers angrily, you could get beaten like an animal. That's what happened to a friend of mine who left the school before I did. He said something that got the teacher angry, teacher then uses chalk to draw a circle on the floor, takes a cane, tells my friend to lie on it and because he couldn't do it well, he whipped my friend mostly on the back and sometimes all around his body. He was crying, begging to the teacher to stop and he repeatedly said he's sorry. The teacher didn't care, kept hitting him even though he was crying, and my friend was 13 at the time, being beaten by someone twice his age. After all that, he went to his seat to continue crying cuz that was just brutal. I sympathized with him back then and this situation still lives rent free in my mind. He was beaten like an animal all because he said something that triggered the teacher or was talking while the teacher was talking.

Mind you, this school is in a country where corporal punishment is banned with the law explicitly banning it in schools. But of course, the law wasn't enforced and my school got away with it. Because of that, I had to see students being whipped at least every week, receive 10 strokes of cane on my palms, 5 strokes on my ass, seeing girls receiving the same treatment and crying. Most of us guys didn't cry when that happens cuz we were pretty used to it. They beat us since primary school. Lying on the desk and being whipped 5 strokes and trying to hold that same desk so that you don't fall is really brutal. Pain everywhere. Pain sitting down.

I really didn't like this school at all as the only benefits I got from this school was making friends and academics being good. Basically, if you avoided being beaten in that school, you're an anomaly and a good one at that. And you can't even protest cuz when you try to do that, you get heavily beaten. Something that happened to a friend of mine when he argued about a dumb school rule and a teacher went to our class, called him out and beat him like 10 strokes just for doing that and warned us not to do the same. Children being whipped every week, sometimes outside the school yard, teenagers being whipped like animals, almost every week, I must hear a whooping either in my class or in other classes. I'm not sure you guys could make it if you went into my school. All these memories compelled me to write this post to show awareness of how bad we have it in africa.