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176

My therapist says she might have to report my abusive family to the authorities. How do I avoid being reported so the cops don't show up and make everything worse? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by sprigatito_bread@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I (23M) started therapy today, hooray!

Only problem is, my family is too goddamn spicy. Once I got into my brother's (25M) increasingly homicidal fantasies and animal killings, she stopped me before I mentioned the threats he made to kill people and told me that she is a mandated reporter and has an obligation to report certain situations to the authorities.

I think adding police to the equation will make everything worse and immediately paint a target on my back because I am the only one who would ever disclose the violence that happens under this roof. It might result in me being homeless if I have to flee for my life. I live in Ohio and it's the middle of winter, so not a great start.

I wanted to work with a therapist because I grew up in this place and it traumatized me so badly that I'm scared of leaving this dump (not to mention, I have disabilities now that make that difficult). How much will I have to tiptoe around here? Is merely being afraid that someone will use violence against me reportable? What about if they fantasize about murder and domestic terrorism? What about violent crimes that they committed in the past? Or specific threats in the present?

Is therapy just not the right fit for this kind of thing? Did I end up with a heavy duty "fuck you" problem and therapy is just for "I feel sad sometimes" problems? It feels like bullshit to have to self-censor so much just because things were harder for me. How is throwing cops at the problem supposed to help when there is no universal basic sustenance or housing for the victims to escape to?

What are your experiences with mandated reporting, and how do you avoid triggering it?

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[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 20 hours ago

Since you have the help of a therapist, you should use them as a resource to help formulate any plans and put them into motion. Therapists aren't just there to talk to, they're good for sound boarding ideas like this off of because they have access to resources that other people might not necessarily have. A therapist's word or signature can get you access to medical care or services that would otherwise be more difficult to get, and they know the ins and outs of systems like social security or aid programs. Their job is to help you, and by telling them straight up that you need help getting a plan together to get out of your living situation they can focus on that.

In the short term, I would recommend putting together a "bug out" bag that you can stash somewhere safe in case you need to leave quickly. Ideally, you should have copies of important documents such as social security cards and stuff that you might not be able to go back for later, but it should at least be just enough stuff to get you by for a couple of days if you need to drop everything and leave. Stuff like a change of clothes, a water bottle, and some cash.