this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2026
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This is a miserable take. Either
You have beef with the disparity between the lines for who has responsibility for the child vs who has ultimate authority over the child. And that is fair! But it's a problem with the current structure of the system, and we don't need to harken back to some stupid lie about the good old days to justify the current impasse.
Going back to when one income could support a family and almost everyone had a parent that was at home that they could rely on is not a stupid lie.
The stupid lie is it is the parent's fault when they both have to work 40+ hours a week (if you even have two parents), take care of the household, help with homework, and deal with the constant curve balls thrown at you by life (car broken down, major sickness, mental disease, dental issues, housing emergency, etc.)
I am lucky to maybe have a hour a day maximum to myself and that is half an hour in the morning and half an hour at night getting ready or going to bed. We are far past the breaking point for the US.
That never fucking existed. There was never a large portion of the population that made enough money for the woman to stay at home, and even when there was enough to apparently make memes about it, it was at most 2 decades.
For real people, women have always worked. In the 1950s, my maternal grandmother ran the general store they owned and lived above while he worked in the factory, and she helped him bale hay on the weekends when it was in season. My paternal grandmother didn't work, and they were dirt poor. She thought it was a woman's place to stay at home and they barely kept food on the table and a roof over their heads. They got frequent financial help from her parents.
My husband: His maternal grandmother didn't work, and the husband had a decent job. And my MiL died bitter because her parents would take all the kids' incomes as teenagers to support the household/themselves. His paternal grandmother worked and retired from a federal job.
It's a lie. It was a lie then to keep women suppressed, and it's a lie now that doesn't serve you like you think it does. The average American has always worked, and women's work has always been discounted. The only ones who didn't work were the wealthy parasite class.
I agree with you that the person I responded to was wrong for dumping on the parents, but everything else is just more grievance politics, but this time from the left.
You are passionate but wrong. There was a large portion of society that did this in the past and continue to do so.
In Europe almost 50% of the time children are with one parent or the other. It is very common for one parent to not work or work very little during the first five years of child rearing.
Almost a fourth of US households have a stay at home parent. With over 11 million stay at home parents in the US alone. I have a hard time understanding where you are coming from.
You also seem to confuse the issue of parents making enough to comfortably take a lot of time away from work to raise children and the fact that housework has been traditionally unpaid.
I think as a society we should recognize the need for a parent, particularly during the first five years, to be at home. We shouldn't be penalizing people for this. Raising children is tough enough without the economic reality that you will be significantly behind your peers if you actually raise your kids.
No wonder birth rates are down. Having kids has become cost prohibitive in a society that tries to squeeze every penny out of people. We have prioritized making money to the detriment of all over raising children. The system in the US in particular is beyond broken.
US perspective here. The problems I see: