this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2025
437 points (99.3% liked)

Not The Onion

19081 readers
854 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] KonalaKoala@lemmy.world -1 points 2 hours ago

What about hiring a bat-wielding man to scare squatters out of your vacant home by swinging the bat from time to time like Jack Torrance in Stanley Kubrick's horror film The Shining (1980) and exclaiming, "All I want to do is bash your brains in, bash them right the hell in!", to see if that will scare the squatters out of a home they don't own?