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I’m autistic, my dad was autistic, and my son is autistic. If I may speak, yeah we’re all “smart.” My dad won a state wide chess championship at 14 years old. I build data platforms on small teams where I’m usually the only engineer servicing a handful of analysts. My son has been hyperlexic since he was two years old. Although my son is diagnosed level II autistic, meaning he needs more support in a few places.
The gotcha in our case is that we’ve got pretty poor social ability, and even worse emotional regulation. We get distracted easily when bored, but we can hyperfocus on one thing for 16 hours while forgetting to eat, sleep, and piss. Also, empathy is difficult/unnatural when we’re frustrated. Self awareness is more a learned skill than a natural one, and we can be egotistical at times.
My dad was your classic absent dad, unless you count when I had met him at 11yo and we went out drinking/fishing together. Or again when I was 14 and he felt compelled enough to reach out and insult me. Him being “smart” is probably a narrow way of viewing things. We’re really not the life of the party… but “smart?” Sure, I guess, by some basic measures.
I value your response and feedback, but I'd like to raise a point in response -
Even if there are common themes, I argue that autism generally presents differently in every individual and is likely an umbrella term describing a multitude of differences, as recent research is showing.
From my understanding, there's a lot of facets to determining where somebody is on the spectrum - support needs required, social ability, verbal ability, overall functioning, (and even if I disagree that it's particularly enlightening) IQ tests and scoring, and so forth.
I'd speculate that in you and your family's case, there is likely a strong indicator that the mechanisms causing the differences is inherited and/or possibly to some degree environmental. The mechanisms causing the differences are likely complex, but shared in some respects between you and your family members who are also autistic and are quite similar in presentation.
I'm sure there are many on the spectrum that consider themselves to be challenged intellectually, at least in some respects. I'm one of those people. I don't see myself as "smart" and I do my best to not think of myself as "dumb". The challenges are definitely present though and I'm slow in certain areas. I'm not being overly harsh on myself, but it takes me an inordinate amount of time to digest information and complete tasks in certain domains. I believe I have a spiky skills profile.
Have you considered that you and your family may be AuDHD? Research is showing that there is a lot of overlap between autism and ADHD. Given what I've read online, I've been considering being evaluated for ADHD as well. No need to answer, but I'm curious because of my own personal situation and resonance with you and your family's specific experience.
Hi, thanks for the thoughtful reply. It’s funny that you ask — I was duel diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. My son’s doctor is also having him evaluated for ADHD now, as well. So, I think you’re onto something there.
I agree with everything else you’ve said as well. I’m just a bit tapped right now with work stuff. Cheers friend!
Thanks for engaging and thanks for answering my question! Have a nice rest of your day!