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Professor Of Astronomy Explains Why You Can't Fire Your Enemies Straight Into The Sun
(www.iflscience.com)
this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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Just fire them at earth-orbit speed in the opposite direction and they'll fall into the sun.
Thatβs a fucload of delta-v. just shoot them out of the solar system. Itβd be cheaper.
Well we've got to get them in the sun somehow
If you don't mind waiting a few thousand years, you can cut the delta-v requirements in half by traveling to the edge of the solar system first and then burning retrograde at aphelion.
Or do like the Parker Solar Probe did and catch multiple gravity assists off Venus.
If you're really hell-bent on burning them up, I suppose you could aim them at some other star.
Or chuck them into an active volcano.
I mean, the idea was to try to fulfill both the "fire them into the Sun" and "minimize βV" requirements at the same time, but sure, that's an option too.
Eh, just burn them in the volcano. The requirements are easier, and the Earth will eventually get burned up by the Sun anyway.
Nah, just aim them for the sun and hope for the best.
They'll be dead due to lack of oxygen within a few days anyways, does it matter if their stinky corpses get burned up in the sun or not?
Why bother to send them in a sealed vessel.
Why, the pretense of hope of course!
Then livestream their evil little faces as they realise they're about to run out of oxygen and there's nothing they can do about it π