Dad for a Minute

I think you've gotten some good advice already. As was said, you owe them nothing. You don't owe them thanks. You don't owe them time. You don't owe them love.

I think the easiest and healthiest path forward is to set up boundaries. If, like me, you grew up without the concept of boundaries, it might take some learning and training. But, you set the boundary where you feel comfortable. Maybe at the point where you have found common ground before.

I highly recommend therapy to help you navigate this. Get a therapist, tell them what you want to do. That you want to set healthy boundaries with your parent. The therapist will start to find out the nuances to help you set and communicate the boundaries.

The therapist will likely understand this next need. If not, you should bring it up, that you want to heal the damage the parent has done through your childhood.

You can read up on toxic parents. Maybe they're narcissistic, there's plenty of books just for that. The key here, above all else, is to look after you. To make sure you're okay. You deserve healthy relationships. And you can demand that you don't continue unhealthy relationships.

Your life is yours to live. You deserve to be happy. Everyone else's life is theirs to live. The choices they make are on them, and you can't control that. But you can control in what ways others interact and impact you. I hope you choose the best and healthiest relationships to foster. I hope you live in your best interests.