this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2025
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[–] jack_of_sandwich@lemmy.sdf.org 52 points 6 days ago (4 children)

We see conservatives complain about teachers' sexuality being "shoved down their throat".

But this seems like a way to avoid that. Maybe we should encourage it for all teachers gay or straight, married or in non-married relationship. Then the conservative complaint could be taken at face value and the woman teacher married to a man could avoid "shoving their sexuality down your throat" even when that sexuality is within a heterosexual marriage.

As a heterosexual married man, if I suspected I was dealing with a homophobe, I might refer to my wife as my partner, just to mess with them. And because the identity of my partner isn't any of their business

[–] white_nrdy@programming.dev 18 points 6 days ago

I have pretty much always used the term "partner" for my hetero relationship. A coworker once asked me why, since they had met my partner and knew their pronouns and that it was a hetero relationship. I explained

  1. I feel that it's a better description. They are my partner in my life. "Boyfriend" / "Girlfriend" feels kinda immature/weak.
  2. People don't need to know my damn business. If I'm talking to a stranger they don't need to know that much about my life.
  3. If it helps to normalize the use of the term, then that's great.

Hell, we're getting married soon, and I will probably still use it. Or maybe say "my spouse" instead. Right now I say Fiancé / Fiancée which I do like. Since when said aloud, it still has the ambiguity.

[–] HorreC@lemmy.world 16 points 6 days ago

but how does anyone know I own them as property? /s

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

We see conservatives complain about teachers' sexuality being "shoved down their throat".

It was never about being against their sexuality, it's being against anything outside of the heteronormative ideal of husband, wife and children. Saying partner could be a way of hiding some kind of "degeneracy", like not being straight or even having multiple partners.

I use partner because it's exhausting explaining to people that I have a wife and a girlfriend and we're a throuple and fine. The amount of people who get upset and pry in your personal business when you drop a hint of being different is ridiculous. Like one day at work one of my coworkers caught me saying girlfriend knowing I have a wife, and started playing 20 questions. What business is it of yours who I'm with or how we live our lives.

[–] jpeps@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

In the UK this is really normal, we do it because it's normal in many circles, and to mess with people for whom it's not normal 😅