this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2025
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It’s interesting that most people make the assumption that if you describe your significant other as “partner” it is likely a same sex couple. That’s my usual first take as well, but I actually like the term to describe a significant other better than say, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, ya di ya di.
Yup, I've been in my (heterosexual but not married) relationship for long enough that the word "girlfriend" doesn't really feel like a good descriptor anymore.
And "significant other" is such a mouthful. Partner makes sense and is easier to say.
Boyfriend/girlfriend felt like a bit of a weird way to talk about each other when we were both in our 30s. And then fiancee was an awkward word. Maybe we should have used partner
It feels like I'm a caveman who only has one female friend when I use the word girlfriend. You know the friend which is a girl: it is descriptive because ALL my other friends are males.
And you can greet them with "Howdy Partner!".
I use it all the time, who is making this assumption?
Bigots, often. No offence to the person you are replying to (they said they default partner = same sex) but really it's mostly just people who refuse to broaden their worldview or accept neutral descriptive terms. Partner could mean any number of things and to assume it's just a same sex couple is ignorant.
Mine absolutely adores messing with that assumption. I'm nonbinary and she's bi though strongly prefers women and more ambiguous to fem leaning nonbinary people. She looks like a very Butch lesbian but together our relationship is straight passing since I'm built like a fridge cosplaying Harry and the Hendersons and when my joint pain acts up like the most tips fedora Neckbearded MF to ever haunt the halls of an anime convention.
So when she's alone and everyone has her pegged dead to rights as a textbook carpet muncher she plays into it going "My partner this, my partner that," just to see the look on their faces when my literal grizzly bear ass shows up with our 3 kids or she decides to switch it up to mention her husband and kids.
it is hilarious.
That is due to frequency of use in past decades carrying over as a habit. All the gay people I've known in the US used partner in the 90s through whenever we finally legalized marriage (2015?) because they weren't legal.
Those same people tend to still use partner, because old habits are hard to break.