this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2025
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[–] Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip 26 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Gotta get the mattress off the floor so the spiders don't come to cuddle at night.

And maybe a houseplant for atmosphere.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

looks like we found the dude who hates friendly cuddles.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Reminds me of a greentext of a dude that didn't get laid because a spider scared the girl off. He killed the spider, only to later find out the girl had some DST. He mourned spiderbro.

that spider was saving bro.

bro didn't deserve that spider

[–] redhorsejacket@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Friendly cuddles without consent? That's assault, brother!

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure the spider consented.

you know where they wasn't consent? when they killed that spider

[–] redhorsejacket@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The on-set intimacy coordinator gave me the go ahead! They said, in fact, "squish that spider or so help me you're going to NEED a paid professional to conduct intimacy in this bedroom".

I'd rather keep the spider alive than getting laid with someone who demands I kill a spider for sex.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

look the spiderhomies need their good night kisses

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

But the spiders eat the bedbugs?

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

Sounds like something Dear Modern would say XD