this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2025
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New Uber feature allows women to request nonthreatening eunuch driver (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works
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In response to ongoing concerns regarding the safety of its female passengers, rideshare giant Uber reportedly introduced a new feature Wednesday that allows women to request a nonthreatening eunuch driver. “With UberCastrated, female riders can feel more at ease on their way to bars and spin classes knowing their driver doesn’t have testicles,” said Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi, adding that thousands of harmless eunuchs had already signed up to drive for the service. “We listen to women, and we know what they want—hairless, sexless drivers medically incapable of feeling any carnal desire whatsoever. [...]

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[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Grizzly Bear drivers would be better. Less dangerous for the woman, more dangerous for the guy who followed her out of the bar because she turned down his gropy advances. And probably no worse at driving than the average.

[–] rocketpoweredredneck@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 months ago

I saw bear and thought big gay dude, and figured a grizzly bear would just be a bigger burlier gay dude and thought 'hell yeah, some weirdo creep gettin his ass beat by the biggest gay dude around while its raining men is bumpin from the dudes car. People would buy tickets for that prize fight.''