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Belinda Carlisle officially retracts 1987 claim that heaven is a place on Earth (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 3 months ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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Singer/songwriter Belinda Carlisle officially retracted the eponymous claim of her 1987 hit “Heaven Is a Place on Earth” due to the myriad of current events that show the horrors of the world, sources report.

“I was young and naive when I wrote that song almost four decades ago,” Carlisle admitted. “Now that I’ve grown older and wiser, I of course have come to the conclusion that humanity has turned this planet into a completely irredeemable shithole. I mean, how could I not? Just this morning I walked past a man masturbating on the subway shortly after watching members of ICE tackle an 80-year-old woman as she was trying to enter a church, then I got home and saw a news report about how the world was on the brink of an irreversible climate disaster. How fucking stupid would I have to be to think heaven exists on this worthless rock?” [...]

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[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What are you into, then? The stuff played at half-speed or the stuff where the vocalist gargles?