this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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It's not on them, though. They didn't ask if there was a Dragon Age RPG, they asked if they could play Dragon Age in D&D.
Those are different questions.
And here's the thing. You can't really tell them "no", because they know it's an imagination game where the rules are whatever the table decides upon. They're not asking if, they are asking how.
Like, there are ways to reditect people, but just ignoring their question to jump straight to their underlying problem when they don't acknowledge that solution doesn't open them up to listening. It shuts them down, it makes them defensive, and it ultimatelt makes them hostile to your suggestions.
That's not "on them", because that's a "you're kind of shit at communicating" problem.
See, that's the point of the XY problem. They asked the wrong question.
Playing Dragon Age in D&D simply would not work. Even after a significant amount of effort, you'd either end up with something entirely unlike Dragon Age or something that barely resembles D&D. So I have to tell them "no" or I'm lying. And if someone stops listening and considers me hostile because I'm not willing to lie to them, then it's absolutely on them.
They didn't ask the wrong question, though. You're seeing a solution they do not want and do not care about then blaming them for not listening to the unsolicited advice.
The problem isn't on their end.
No, they definitely asked the wrong question. If they ask "how can I do [thing]", it assumes it's possible to do [thing]. But if they can't do [thing], the question is invalid, and there is no correct answer.
Honestly, the way you put it, it's like they don't actually want to fix the problem. They just want their solution to be right. Anyone who doesn't tell them what they want to hear is the REAL problem, even if what they want to hear is a lie.
Do you want me to lie?
But they definitely can do the thing, because it's a game of make-believe. Again, this is not hammering in a screw, it's mental systems for deciding how imaginary doings transpire.