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I think that's just called capitalism.
For an actual answer, I'd turn to the idiom of dangling a carrot which evokes the idea of an animal chasing a carrot being held out in front of it on a stick by its own rider, unable to reach the carrot since it moves forward as they do, but it swings momentarily towards them creating the illusion of progress, so they continue chasing it forward anyway.
Edit: not to be confused with the very similar sounding idiom of "carrot and stick" in which the stick implies punishment.
It is partially stemming from a capitalistic source.
Long personal vent linked here, feel free to ignore if you don’t care. Basically unless you’re a free therapist, you don’t have to read this.
I read through that — you don’t seem paranoid or cursed to me. What you do seem to have is a strong case of trying to find something to call a bunch of disparate shit situations that happened to you because then you’d have something to solve.
I don’t think you do.
The jobs all sounded like shit places with shit people who have no idea what they were looking for. You can’t fix that for them. They will continue to be shit until they fix that for themselves. Hopefully you’ll find something that isn’t shit, but lots of people also hate their jobs (including me), and try to find solace elsewhere (for me, it’s being the best bullshit shield I can be between my people and the higher-ups).
Your romantic disappointments sound like how dating generally goes, or at least how I’ve always experienced it (aside from the oompa-loompa thing, that just sounded like she wanted to have fun with her friends instead of having a date, which is disappointing for you but a valid way to enjoy a dance). It’s a very few winning interactions and a lot of shallow wastes of time in between. I eventually just started doing it systematically:
Date 1 — 30-45 minutes, coffee or drinks. Something you can both leave quickly if it sucks.
Date 2 — 1-2 hours tops, some kind of activity you both can enjoy, low stakes, nothing either of you is passionate about. Bonus points if you’re both bad at it.
Date 3 — If you see potential, cook. See how they are with your pets if you have any. Watch a dumb TV show in the background and make out if they’re into it.
90% of the dates I ever went on (mostly through apps because awkward is where I live) never made it past date 2. It’s exhausting, but there are a lot of people you have to go through to find someone you can tolerate long term, sometimes.
You’re not crazy. You’ve had some genuinely disappointing and shit experiences. I hope they get balanced out by something better soon. If they don’t, just keep surviving — every minute you make it can be enough of a victory.
Edited to (hopefully) do better on line breaks.