Title text:
Starting a meta-leaderboard for tracking who holds the record for ranking behind the most distinct people on an online leaderboard.
Transcript:
[Cueball is seated at a desk, and uses a laptop. White Hat is standing right behind him.]
Cueball: I'm ranked 7,145,000^th^ globally on this chess platform.
Cueball: It's hard to be ranked that low in any activity.[Zoom on Cueball talking]
Cueball: Few pastimes even have 7 million rated players. Until the Internet, it wasn't really possible. You could be this bad, but only unofficially.[Cueball is now facing White Hat]
Cueball: So in a sense, I'm worse at chess than anyone was at anything for most of human history.
White Hat: Why are you still doing it?[Cueball is back on the laptop]
Cueball: Well, no human has ever had this many friends to play with.
White Hat: That person is calling you some very obscene names.
Cueball: Our friendship is complicated.
Source: https://xkcd.com/3110/
People who have only just learned the moves of chess play better chess than I do.