AuDHD

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A place for those that got both Autism and ADHD, those confirmed as one and are suspecting they got the other as well, and also everyone who is neither and just genuinely curious.

Since the combo comes with its own set of challenges, this shall be a place to ask for advice, vent, infodump about special interests and/or just vibe and meme.

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How do you date? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 days ago by tophneal@sh.itjust.works to c/autisticandadhd@lemmy.world

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I know /how/ to date in itself, but I'm curious how other AuDHDers go about meeting people to date. Ive only been let down and demoralized using mainstream apps, and the advice of "go find a group hangout" feels very antithetical to my entire being. I hate being in large groups where I know no one. I'm pretty jaded by the idea of just waiting for that right person to come along too, when it feels like it has happened, there's usually a reason we can't even entertain dating, such as meeting them after they've just started a new relationship with someone. I feel ready and would really enjoy finding someone that doesn't need all the masks and can love me for who I am, but I feel like I don't know how to go about meeting the right person.

So I'm curious, how do you meet people for the purpose of dating?

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[–] tophneal@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Poly is certainly not in the cards for me, but increasing time with my queer friends sounds like it's certainly worth exploring. Even if they don't have other straight friends, at least I'll still get quality time with good people.

[–] Ekybio@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

One last piece of advice:

Dont look for dates, look for cool people and find out later who you click with. Changes the expectations and puts less strain on minds and it filters out political imcompatible people. After all, what good is it to just find a nice "date" and then they tell you that abortion is morally wrong?

[–] tophneal@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

Good general advice! I wholeheartedly agree, I know I'd prefer a partner I already know can be a best friend. I fell it helps with much the early relationship anxieties from letting down the masks to be able to truly be yourself, too.