AuDHD

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A place for those that got both Autism and ADHD, those confirmed as one and are suspecting they got the other as well, and also everyone who is neither and just genuinely curious.

Since the combo comes with its own set of challenges, this shall be a place to ask for advice, vent, infodump about special interests and/or just vibe and meme.

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How do you date? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 days ago by tophneal@sh.itjust.works to c/autisticandadhd@lemmy.world

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I know /how/ to date in itself, but I'm curious how other AuDHDers go about meeting people to date. Ive only been let down and demoralized using mainstream apps, and the advice of "go find a group hangout" feels very antithetical to my entire being. I hate being in large groups where I know no one. I'm pretty jaded by the idea of just waiting for that right person to come along too, when it feels like it has happened, there's usually a reason we can't even entertain dating, such as meeting them after they've just started a new relationship with someone. I feel ready and would really enjoy finding someone that doesn't need all the masks and can love me for who I am, but I feel like I don't know how to go about meeting the right person.

So I'm curious, how do you meet people for the purpose of dating?

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[–] fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

the advice of “go find a group hangout” feels very antithetical to my entire being. I hate being in large groups where I know no one.

You don't have to go alone, bring a friend. Do you work in an office? Go to a happy hour with your co workers, especially if they're of the opposite sex. Women are the best wingmen for dudes.

there’s usually a reason we can’t even entertain dating

Do they have friends? If you enjoy talking to them maybe they've got single friends?

[–] tophneal@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

My friends might be more introverted than I am, so that really is out the window for me.

My company is also spread out across the country, so we don't have happy hours. Even if I did want to go that route (I've dated a coworker before and it was a huge mistake/headache) the only coworkers I've met that are single are younger enough than me that I find the idea uncomfortable. I also fucking hate my company as an employer at this point for burning me out and refuse to partake in their after hours activities. I need less of their toxicity in my life.

Heh, not really. I tend to ha e a lot of the same things in common with these people, such as social anxiety. Probably part of why we're able to get along so well. smell our own and all that...

[–] fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm not saying to date your co workers, but see if they can help you find a date.

[–] tophneal@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago

My apologies, I misread your comment. The company being scattered still kinda hinders that, I feel.