Ask Lemmy

31897 readers

1564 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

6) No US Politics.

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Bluetreefrog@lemmy.world

TheSaneWriter@lemm.ee

TheSaneWriter@lemmy.thesanewriter.com

Asudox@lemmy.world

lemmy_bot@lemmy.world

beefbaby182@lemmy.world

ModeratorCan@lemmy.world

neidu3@sh.itjust.works

asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev

candyman337@lemmy.world

candyman337@sh.itjust.works

111

Am I a dick if I don't want to meet an old friend for coffee if she brings her babies along? (lemmy.wtf)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by _j_@lemmy.wtf to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

81 comments fedilink hide all child comments

An old friend/aquaintance I've not spoken to in a few years popped up recently and we got chatting a little over text. In the few years since we spoke she's had two babies by two different guys. They're ~6 months and ~2-3 years.

She said that we should get coffee and catch up properly, and I was sort of down, although I'm not really that enthusiastic about catching up with someone I've frankly not thought about in a few years. But hey, it's something to do, and it might be interesting. So I suggested a coffee shop near her and asked if she'd be able to get time away from the kids, but she said that no, she'd have to bring the kids along.

I don't want to be a dick but I'm really not interested in sitting in a coffee shop with two babies. They're mostly just going to be the focus of the occasion because they need constant attention, and I don't really like kids in general. And, if they cry or act up and attract attention I will hate that.

AITA? How do I tell her I'm really not interested in sitting with her babies for an afternoon?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] EverXIII@lemmy.world -4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

No. You are not a dick. Your colleague is. Your are always allowed to exercise your right to say no, to things you don’t like to do.

[–] alekwithak@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

How is she a dick for having two children???

[–] Dashi@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

I don't even think the colleague is a dick. OP doesn't like kids so they wouldn't want to do this, no problem. Colleage has kids and wants to meet up but has to bring kids, that doesn't make them a dick. It's just their circumstance at the moment. I have kids, if I want to go out with friends I either make sure they are OK with it or find someone to watch them. If a friend reached out to me and wants to hang out but I have nobody to watch the kids then I'm not a dick for saying if you want to then I have to bring the kids.

You always have the right to say no. It doesn't make anyone a dick.