this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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I'm terribly sorry but I'm confused by what the meaningful difference is? I feel like you were trying to communicate something very specific here and I'm missing it.
No, its not a problem exactly. Its a reasonable possibility and it makes sense to be concerned about. A lot of men are dumb chuds, and women-hatred goes along with that. However, I don't think its realistic as a base assumption that its a larger possibility over homophobia for it to be your primary concern. Admittedly, this is more based on my own experiences though and trying to put myself in the shoes of someone who'd care to install something like that.
Like, I know I clearly had internalized homophobia when I thought I was straight. And I was exposed to a lot more homophobia from my male peers than misogyny growing up. I saw and heard both, but one was WAY more intense and it was the homophobia.
That is to say, I'd bet the reason a person would do this is because of insecurity over potentially being gay/bi far more than because they are that obsessed with "putting women in their place" in their private video game time, other than on the basis of using the game as porn/erotica if they have some kind of kink and for whatever reason like using video games for that purpose rather than just regular purpose made porn/erotica.
The sort of guy who's primary reason for wanting to flatten men's asses in a video game would be because they view women as subhuman or something would make them unhinged and a rare breed of incel. While it being because they're insecure about their sexuality seems just... more likely to me.
To be "more worried" implies I'd be on the lookout for, not making accusations using only the mod as proof. It raises my hackles.
And I'm not saying that homophobia, internalized or not, shouldn't be considered. Homophobia and misogyny go hand-in-hand quite often. My point was merely that I'd be looking for misogyny first. because someone who wants women's bodies to be exposed but wants or allows men to be more covered up clearly values the two groups differently.
As you say, there are other reasons to engage in such behavior. But a) I'm probably going to be reasonably skeptical of those reasons and b) even if they have those reasons, it doesn't make them not a misogynist.
FWIW I'm gay and nonbinary. I get where concern for homophobia is coming from. It's just not my first thought in the specific scenario we're discussing.
Yeah I know you aren't saying that. In the same way that I'd still consider sexism/mysogyny as a possibility of being their primary reason. Its just not my first thought based on my experiences and intuition.
Yeah I understand that is your stance, what I don't understand is why you'd suspect that over homophobia. That's what I'm legitimately curious about.
Like, is it the same as me, in that its based on your personal experiences and knowledge of your own internal knowledge of your mind when you were younger? Is it more of some kind of logical/rational analysis? or statistical fact? Is it intuition? Ideological frameworks?
I just don't understand why this is your thinking and I'd like to know. I'm not saying you are wrong, my own beliefs aren't on like, rock solid critical thinking or facts or whatever. Its personal experience.
Call it intuition if you need to label it. But having spent most of my life passing as a man, and flying under the radar sometimes (in that people didn't immediately know that I was gay), I just heard a lot more misogyny than homophobia. That's probably just the guys that I know. But it has influenced me.
In my experience, men don't sexualize women to appreciate their beauty, but to demean them. It makes them feel powerful.