me_irl

I'm just an internet rando, but on your end I don't think you are awful for what you said and should forever feel the weight of it hanging over you.

On the other hand, we don't know her, and hearing the transmission and the intent is not the same as knowing the receiver and how it is received. The fact that you were behaving badly when drunk could have been the issue in itself. If you know someone a certain way, and they seem to become a different person when they're drunk (especially if you have some experience with that situation), hearing someone say "I'm sorry I said that, I was just really drunk" may be like saying you're sorry, and it could happen again anytime you drink. Maybe she thinks sober you is lovely, but drunk you is not someone she would like to spend any time with, and rather than try to make it so you only hang out in sober settings she just cut you out. Or maybe not, maybe she is just really bothered you took that argument to a sexual place. Or something else, who knows?

But the point is, the "broken plate" thing could be that to her, you became the type of person who could make a comment like that, where she didn't think you were. She can't make you into the person she thought you were again. What you said isn't egregious or anything. But maybe that changed her perception of you, and it's not about forgiveness, it's about not being able to go back.

Or maybe she's extremely sensitive, or a drama-magnet. Who knows? Again, just a guy on the internet that's a couple drinks deep.