this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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You take some flour, and some room temp eggs
Room temperature butter is the best
And some warm milk, you stage it with the rest
Vanilla, sugar, and baking soda
If you forget your berries, you are fucked
Iambic pentameter is shit. Salt.
Get all of these items into a big bowl
Mix it or whatever, I am not your boss
Batter should be consistency of sludge
Heat your oven to the maximum temp
Pour your batter directly in oven
Leave your house, tell neighbors you broke your toe
Return to home, act surprised it is ash
Get insurance check, use to buy muffins
Prep time: 30-45 minutes
Cook time: 2 months if insurance is fast
Sure, I did a bad job. But in my defense, I put more effort into this than I should have and wasted everyone's time. Especially mine.
This is not a recipe.
Recipes come with a 3 paragraph life story at the start.
Forsaken by my parents, I must bake
A pie, a biscuit, or even a cake
My parents, so proud, say that they love it
I, too, am fulfilled cuz in them, I shit
If nutty, to them, I serve up a pie
Or a dish more savory, if corn supplied
Since I was a child, I have done this
I am better at it than at rhyming
If you want a nice treat, leave out the poo
Or keep it in, really, it's up to you
As you make what I bake, something might stink
Solutions are found in my sponsored links
Now I will let you get to the big bake
More words are needed for profits at stake
Please take care and enjoy my recipe
Return next week when I make drinks from pee
I think you meant to say chapter?