this post was submitted on 12 May 2025
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It depends also who you are. That person in the comic saying he’s nice is a guy and not the of the group of people(women) that are so aggressively disrespected. How would he know?
It also falls into the “decorum” sphere. Someone who isn’t yelling while they’re throwing your rights in the garbage is not nice. Someone opening the gas chamber door for you is not nice. Surface level means nothing and it has always meant nothing but it takes a lot of energy for the vast majority of people to be thinking deeper than that all the time so they fall back on easy, high-level observations.
Now, I won’t say someone can’t be turned around. Many are pretty far gone, though, and it’s not their victims’ job to be nice and supportive to their oppressors. So yes, they might just be humans but the warning given above needs to be more of a “he’s kinda a misogynist right now but I’ve been working on him and he’s getting better. Let me know if you’re uncomfortable at any point though and I’ll take care of it.”
My friend told me once about how people in cults have a sunk-cost fallacy to the cult's beliefs that makes it harder to get them out the longer they've been in.
People are more likely to double down on their beliefs when proven wrong because they'd have to admit that they were wrong and so were all the things that they did following those beliefs. And nobody likes to admit when they're wrong, because nobody wants to believe that they're the bad guy.
I have my thoughts on this, mainly that there’s a point where even very stubborn people need admit defeat and turn things around. That point is usually where, in defence of their shitty opinion, they are asked to do something that crosses a line. And yet for so many conservatives we keep hoping the line is crossed and keep learning just how little they care about other people.
I’m not entirely sure how connected it is to my original comment, but I can sorta see the relation?