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Americans can't buy them new because of the so-called Chicken Tax. We can only import them if they're speed-governed, or at least 25 years old.
Even with those restrictions, lots of Americans want them, including me. There are quite a few importers bringing them over, including one that just started up in my area. They're desirable enough that major media outlets are running articles about how people who need to get real work done covet kei trucks.
Yes, Americans would buy them. Americans are buying them.
Yep, the Chevrolet Bolt is the closest I could get to a Kei van.
It's not the chicken tax itself, even if it plays a role. It's that the chicken tax makes it not economically feasible to try to import light trucks, so they aren't designed to U.S. emissions and safety regulations. And several U.S. regulations are, in my opinion, misguided, but that doesn't really change the fact that an importer wouldn't be able to comply with vehicles that weren't engineered to those specifications.
Meanwhile, the cars and trucks engineered to American safety and emissions regulations face the perverse incentive to get bigger. This article describes some of the overall issues but contains this interesting nugget:
In a sense, the trend of people wanting kei trucks paradoxically comes from the same reason why they're not street legal: they didn't get bigger because they weren't subject to U.S. regulations pushing trucks to get bigger, but the noncompliance with those regulations makes them impossible to import and register (at least until they're 25 years old).
You're correct, my memory took a shortcut. Thanks for the very thorough explanation!