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Why can't I do a single thing? (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I cannot do a damn thing. Be it easy, be it hard, be it rewarding, be it just pure pleasure. I cannot enjoy a thing thinking it is just waste of time. I cannot carry myself to do a hard task thinking about the high effort it requires. Even if I break it into small parts, I would only do the bare minimum for a day or two and stop it.

My entire life is being passed away coming back tired, hungry and yearning for sleep, from a job I dislike to the core.

I am not moving towards my goals. I cannot quit this job. Time is passing. I'm stuck. Weekends cometh, I use them all trying to catch up on sleep.

Every week I'm doing just the bare minimum to survive thinking I might do something on the weekend and I don't. How do I break out this cycle? There's a lot more I could unwind upon but this post is already long enough.

Argh

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Personally I'm fundamentally disconnected from any meaningful relationships with living things (people, animals, plants, the landscape) and addicted to the internet as a replacement. The only times I haven't felt the way you described is when I had social scaffolding around me. (And the wherewithal in terms of time and energy to pursue "self-actualisation.")

I don't know, I always think about an extremely competent woman living a self-sufficient traditional lifestyle with all the skills to survive who just stopped eating after her grandchildren had to run away abroad. A life is a complex thing and it takes a lot of things to be tuned just right for a person to be functional. It's even too simple to say "we find meaning in social relationships" or whatever, we just need the right system of incentives and comforts and pleasure and pain and there's no single formula.

I was self-actualising when I had love, understanding, time, and money. Now I'm missing some parts of that package, and none of them are things you can just will into existence, especially not at the cost of other things.