this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
20 points (95.5% liked)
WomensStuff
795 readers
6 users here now
Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.
Rules…
- Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women's community is a good fit for them.
- Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
- Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
- No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.
- New accounts or users with few comments may have their posts removed to prevent spam and bad-faith participation.
founded 3 months ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Yes you're right. Few men have any idea how hard the world is for women and the constant fucking FEAR. Carefully managing men in interactions to keep them calm, avoiding certain places at certain times, scanning rooms of men to spot problem ones etc. There's a reason "me too" happened and it really is all of us. And that's before we get into the day to day marginalisation, dismissing, silencing etc.
The clothing thing always makes me laugh. This idea that women are dressing thinking "I'll wear purple today to try to trick a man into liking me". If it was that simple we wouldn't need online dating! We'd just wear the magic clothing and get coupled up.
One coworker of mine told me in hushed tones like a conspiracy theorist about how lipstick and blush were invented so women can mimic the appearance of being sexual aroused, because (as he explained) during blood diverts to the lips and cheeks during sex. He kept going on about how fucked up this was, and I couldn't quite tell what he thought of it exactly - is he saying it's fucked up that women are coerced into being sexualized, or is he saying it's fucked up that women use makeup to manipulate men?
What I would give to go back to that conversation, to walk through everything with him ...
I have a horrible feeling he thought it was manipulative, based on similar conversations I've had with men. I wonder does he think make up tutorials are women saying "this colour is good because you look aroused without looking TOO aroused. You may want to take photos of yourself during sex to make sure you can match the colour exactly".