As you may have seen from UmmThatGuys post the other day, I'm not on the team anymore. I didn't get kicked or anything, I just left. Some people may or may not know I've been dealing with some shit for the past year. What most people don't know is that I have not been dealing with it well which is why the extremely sporadic posting that I've been doing. Social media stuff was just compounding. Partially out of stress and partially just out of the energy needed. Like I went from responding to a lot of comments on the post to barely any because I just don't have the energy.
Then this month I'm turning 33. I've lied about when my birthday is on here in the past because I actively avoid my birthday that badly. Childhood wasn't a good time for me and my birthday was less about me and more about my mothers apprehensions. Every year around this time I just get more and more overwhelmed until the day happens. That day feels like I'm drowning. The day after, everything is perfectly fine. Well, that day is getting closer and I've been not doing great. Just another thing to add to the pile that has been a lot to cope with.
Few days ago things got to a point and I had like two straight days of panic attacks and made the decision to leave Lemmy. Left some groups that were associated with Lemmy, made Picard top mod of 10F, and made a post saying goodbye. I ended up deleting that very shortly after posting it because it got way more attention than I was expecting which sparked another panic attack.
I might be back. I don't know when. Maybe a week. Maybe a couple months. Maybe never. Who knows. I won't be bugging to be added to the mod team or anything, I'm not so egotistical that I need a green M next to my name. Only thing I do know is that this community is everything that I ever hoped for and the mods here are everyone I could have dreamed of. Umm was always on my shortlist of mods to add if ever needed and I could not be happier that he was taken on to fill my space.
Love you guys.
- A tired, tired homo
It's ok to take a step away and breathe. As my Spanish teacher used to say, if you don't have your health you don't have anything. When you're ready to return, you'll be welcomed back with open arms (because you are one of the coolest cats on here), but feel no guilt about taking the time to take care of you.
Best wishes from a stoned crow - get well soon!
Which only makes it better. Love me some corvids. I play a black feathered aarakocra in my Tuesday DnD game named Nevermore. Just big crow boy and I love him so much. A bit of art I had commissioned for him a few years ago when I had a few bucks to spare. Artist slightly fucked the feathers on the chest and made them brown but meh. I didn't want to bug them to fix it.
Sorry I might have ADHD.
Corvids are indeed the best. We have a few ravens and a lot of magpies that live near me. Always amazing to see/watch. (like this):
We'll hold the fort down. c/TenFoward is your baby. We've built a good thing here, and we'll be here if/when you decide to return. Take care.
I have a family of Magpies (yellow beak, I'm in California) that live in my yard! We fed them every morning for a few days and now they stay here and happily wait each morning for their peanuts and such. Couple have dropped various items on our porch. Love them so much.
Take care Stamet, I don't know you or you me but I love your content.
I'll gladly drop you some peanuts in my yard if you like.
Who on the Fediverse doesn't!?🤪