this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2025
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I always considered myself straight but apparently that’s not accurate because I like trans women and femboys, so I fall under the “queer” umbrella. I tend to think I’m pan-ish because I like femme presenting folks, regardless of gender identity or genitalia.
boy do i have a parsimonious answer for you: gender and sexuality are made up by society so you don't need to have a sexuality, you can just be attracted to some people and not to others.
reminder that trans women are women and attraction to them (if you're a man) is straight
(i'm aware of the rest of your post but felt like this was a good thing to bring up)
And yet, many wouldn't say that a man liking a woman with a penis is 100% straight. Same goes the other way, a cis girl liking a man with a vagina might not be considered 100% straight in a lot of places.
I consider everyone on different places of the bi spectrum and people that don't mind same gender genitalia would fall a bit more to the center of that spectrum that people that don't in my eyes.
I'm not confronting your comment about gender identity, I 100% agree, I just want to separate gender identity with sexuality since gender identity is mostly an inwarda thing (how you feel) while sexuality is mostly an outwards thing (what physicalities you feel attracted to).
there are many who consider themselves completely (straight / gay) and don't mind their partner's natal genetalia, too, and i think it's transphobic to consider them "more bisexual" and invalidate their identity
since bisexual is a valid identity, let's not push it on people who haven't opted into it
otherwise, those people are welcome to think what they may. just like i think that people who view it that way need to unpack their internalized transphobia, but that's "just my opinion", just like you posted yours
Uh, also some trans women are post op and now have a vagina instead of a penis, they just don't have a womb or ovaries, that's all.
I don't know how that affects your box labelling project.
I specifically didn't mention trans women, just women with male genitalia just because of that. There are cis women that also operate their genitalia, dunno. The only difference would be the child bearing thing AFAIK and that's not really something related to attraction in my eyes.
I don't understand why you call saying that sexuality is a spectrum and is separate from gender identity, box labelling project. I used different words but in the end it's the same point.
It sounded to me like you were equating trans women with women with a penis, but apparently I misunderstood your meaning, so hey.
That's absolutely not the bit I was criticising.
To me it sounded like you were both invalidating the femininity of trans women and the sexual identity of men who like them. But maybe I misunderstood your meaning again.
I'm just not sure it's any better telling people what their sexuality is any more than it is telling people what their gender is.
I'm also not keen on phrases like "lots people would say". It sits in the box of phrases that people use when they know what they're about to say something that can be offensive. Have an opinion, by all means, but own up to it, and be prepared to take the flak for it rather than depend on your unseen army of people who agree with you for cover. It's not in the least bit less offensive when you put it in the mouths of others.
I think we can agree that sexuality and gender are multi faceted, complex and don't divide into a neat categories as some folks make out, and I apologise for not being as civil with you as I should be.
Yeah sorry if it came that way, not my intention. When referring to "lots of people" I quite literally meant that I know a gay guy that wouldn't touch a vagina even if he was paid, so saying that if a dude liked a pre op transman is 100% gay doesn't feel right with me. But not because they are not men, but because as you said sexuality is a complex thing and it's more about physicalities than gender.
Thanks for the addendum and sorry again for making it look like I was invalidating trans women, not my intention at all.
Yup. Have a good weekend.
Being attracted to trans women is straight bc they are women
I'd like to believe it falls under gynesexuality.
I prefer the term finsexual
So your bi? Femboys are men, trans women are women lol
Perhaps heteroromantic. I like the labels that specify that there is a difference between sexual and emotional attraction. For example I'm omniromantic, pansexual.
Aren't we all a little bit BI in that regard? It's more where you fall in that spectrum. If you like the general aspect of the person and you don't care about the genitalia that much (like me) I'd say straight with a touch of bi.
same
technically there is a term for that: finsexual
but its basically just the woke version of hetero