this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2025
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US Army, winter 1996. Just got onto base, pretty fresh from BASIC. I open my barracks door and McBride (RIP brother) says "Here, drink this!" with his devlish grin, blocking my entry and holding a shot glass of some clear liquid. 18-year-old private me swigged it down and nearly choked on the shot.
"WTF is this?", I asked, gasping and choking.
"Everclear!" he said joyfully, moving away from the door while I gagged, challenge completed.
I passed his...test?... and I was in the friend group.
Crikey isn't that like 300% alcohol or something?
I've done a shot of it before, once or twice. The whole body feels like it's trying to scream in fear at once for a moment, but your mouth is too stunned by the violence that's been done to your palate that you just stand there for a moment waiting to see if you die. Then once the feeling passes, you are fully buzzed and for about ten minutes you know how Dionysus feels all the time.
The only sensible thing to do with it is sanitise lab equipment.
You amuse me.
Thanks, it was on purpose this time