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Was I SA'd? (discuss.online)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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So, I am a 21 year old male but when I was a kid about 8 maybe 9 l had this friend from church also male, who is a couple years younger than me. One day were sitting somewhere and he mentioned something about wanting to touch my butt, and he tried to grab it. And then I think I was playing with something and dropped it so I reached down to pick it up and he smacked me like four times rapidly. He seemed to find it amusing. I thought it was kind of weird for a bit but eventually I forgot about it and we remained cool friends. He hasn't acted that way since and this was over a decade ago. I know his grandma said he used to have a problem with seizures as a kid. He still goes to the church but not as often because he works now. Like I said, I hadn't even thought about it until like a month ago when I read an article about a celebrity who had been sexually abused as a kid. And it triggered me for some reason and has been kind of bothering me. I just wanted to know if this was an assault or just inappropriate childhood behavior.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

I'm not going to answer your question directly - others have done that already.

I will say that, as an older man, my brain has thrown up random things from my childhood multiple time, so the same may happen for you. I'm no psychologist, and I'm also late-diagnosed autistic, but it seems that the brain can lock away memories from that period because it didn't know how to process them. Then, much later in life, it'll dig one up, dust it off, and put it at the forefront of your mind and say, "Go on then, you're all grown up and know so much now, what about this then?"

This has happened to me at times of trauma (like I didn't have enough to deal with at that time already - and may be the same for you with your OCD), but also at times of peace. I had a traumatic childhood which I won't go into, but it's provided a rich seam of suppressed and painful memories to randomly spit out and obsess over throughout my life.

I think my point in writing this is... Just to say that you're not alone in having random thoughts from your past take over, and that overall I don't think it means much that it's come back to mind.