RetroGaming

Lights flicker and dim throughout the neighborhood as a white-hot glow builds through the stack of 32Xs. A bright blue flash signals the destruction of the transformer down the block but you spare no attention for the freshly-darkened row of houses, captivated by the scene unfolding in your own living room.

Rather than sputtering out and returning to its previously inert form, the Sega only glows brighter. A voice is whispering to you but dissolves into wordless static against the ambient hum of the room. Your skin tingles and itches, the smell of ozone tickles your nose and you're starting to think you should have brought some kind of eye protection. Probably too late to worry about that now though.

A crack of darkness forms in the center of the column of light -- that, or your tortured optical nerves are finally burning out. The air takes on an unnatural viscosity which seems to conduct the ever-present hum straight into your bones. In an instant, the darkness pulses and ripples along its wispy edges before falling in on itself, carrying with it the last beams of your technological abomination like a mangled lighthouse blasting its warnings into a roiling hurricane.

You wake up in the morning to find a box on your doorstep. Oh yeah, you remember, that eBay listing for an old Sega and collection of accessories. Absently clicking together a stack of 32X modules while examining the contents of the package, you start to wonder if the thing will even power on...

You can't even boot with two 32x units installed, at least based on previous experience the last time I tried. So alas, this 256x assembly won't work.