Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
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Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
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My wife is a just starting her second trimester and I feel woefully unqualified to help as a parent. I'm starting to read books but I feel unqualified. She was babysitting for her entire teenage years and her friends ask her to help with their kids. None of my male friends who are 1-2 years older have any kids so I can't ask them for advice on things while hers have so much advice since almost all have at least 1 kid. Not to mention she gets all the targeted ads about babies while I get almost none. ( That might be because I'm on less social media but still)
Men really are not socialized or taught how to raise kids. I can keep a house and I can cook so I can help but needs to upskill parenting. We're really held a lower standard
We did a few prenatal classes. That made me feel a bit more prepared. The big ones for me:
How to change a diaper. It isn't hard, but I had no idea where to start.
How to swaddle a kid. Realistically, I'm not sure it made a difference for our kids, but it made me feel more prepared.
How to install a car seat. I'm pretty sure I still screwed it up, but I felt confident about it.
Then you're most of the way there.
She'll probably be physically messed up from the birth, so have a conversation about how work should be split up. Volunteer to cook, clean, and do laundry. If she's breast feeding (which some women have trouble with) then she may need lots of time parked with the kid.
This part is gonna sound weird, but: don't expect to fall in love with the baby immediately. Newborns are not like babies on TV - they're immobile, unaware, and totally dependent. I would have jumped on a grenade for my newborns, but the emotional side didn't grow on me for a while. That came when they were a few months old and they started to react to the world.
Congratulations, dude. It's a big change, but it's something you can handle.
Thanks for the advice. I know I'll get there but it's strange how them for someone whose always wanted kids there's not as much support for men. Classes are great and we're signing up for them now