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[CW] I think I've hit the end of my rope (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I first tried to kill myself in 2000, and writing about it of course resulted in another fucking award from Columbia.

My drug dealer broke into my apartment, found my phone, called everyone he'd ever heard me talk about, and then finally 911. I'd been thorough.

At that point, it was merely personal problems; we now have systemic ones.

I'm still crashing with a friend but return to the marginally movable trash can tomorrow.

I don't know what I'm looking for by posting. I just know "not this" is where I'm at in life, and one can only spend so much time with the crisis line.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I usually know how to respond. In this case, I do not.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You don't always have to. I know some of what you're feeling and sympathize. There's some music in the above post. I wish I could do more for you than link to an eclectic barrage of tracks.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I'm only familiar with one Sufjan Stevens track. I'll check these out. Thanks!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Freestylers - Back to '99 is one of my favourite breaks tracks. It does veer into DnB.