this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago (23 children)

I don't even understand how people fine the time, energy, and most importantly money to have children. I can barely find all three to do my hobbies.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (15 children)

Simple: the moment you have a child, you stop being the person who had hobbies and interests and become a parent, a single-minded organism that exists solely to make sure your children make it to maturity in good shape. Your Spotify Wrapped becomes Baby Shark, your guitar or mountain bike or whatever gets ebayed to make room for a nursery, and travel plans become fiction, written around a character who is no longer you, a stolid lump of responsibility.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (9 children)

This does not sound very appealing, tbh

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's because it omits what all of the things lost get replaced with. The time spent with your kid is incredible. Yes your YouTube playlist gets taken over by baby shark, but also you get to see them go from a lump that can barely move, to being able to do situps, then walk, then run up to you and start clapping their hands making the baby shark motions, and start cackling with the most genuine laughter you will ever hear in you life as you get up off the couch and pretend to scream "oh no the baby shark is gonna get me" as they chase you around the house.

It's good times.

It's also bad times. Like when you have to tell them no, or stop, or bed time, and they scream the scream of pure despair, as nothing in life could possibly be as painful, as terrible, as inhumanly awful as being told you're not allowed to roll around in the broken glass that you just shattered on the ground by wildly throwing your teddy bear across the room.

Your life becomes singularly focused, You lose almost all of the things you were before, but your life is always interesting and meaningful. Except to other people. Other people think your hobbyless, in bed at 8 life, is boring.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah...even then.

Sounds like a lot of rationalization and silver linings for a sunk cost. I mean, if parents feel fulfilled, awesome. But outwardly, it's a hard sell. Unless the family has wealth, the odds are high that any kid born in the US is likely to have a worse experience than their parents did.

If I use my own, elder Millennial born of Boomers experiential framework, having children ultimately seems extremely selfish. The kids are born into a hellscape of Capitalistic predatory systems, and have to struggle for years, or decades to gain any kind of agency. Meanwhile, the ROI for all that stress and trauma is increasingly less. So, why put them through it? So that I can say I have progeny? To scratch a biological imperative's itch? Nah. No thanks. The world doesn't deserve kids; it hasn't earned them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Having kids is selfish, it's the whole "point". Any DNA based organism's only goal is to clone that DNA. Evolution happened and now you get a chemical boost (or whatnot) that makes you feel like it is totally worth it (which I feel that it totally is).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I said it as nicely as I could.

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