this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2024
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If I ever become the CEO of a multibillion dollar company, I'm going to say nothing at my first shareholder meeting.
Instead, I'm going to climb up on the boardroom table, remove my trousers and pants and drop a great big shit right there on the desk.
I will then say "That's what we're going to do to our users" and watch in awe as my salary and share price goes through the roof.
Hire me
Congratulations. Your new position is.....
Boardroom Table.
~~Sweet, that means I get a dildo and a gun.~~
God damnit, I read that as bedroom table. Well depending on how the company's being run, it might not change.