this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2024
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[–] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 43 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Almost as awkward as his conversation with Mamaw. If only he would've learned from her

"I'll never forget the time I convinced myself that I was gay. I was eight or nine, maybe younger, and I stumbled upon a broadcast by some fire-and-brimstone preacher. The man spoke about the evils of homosexuals, how they had infiltrated our society, and how they were all destined for hell absent some serious repenting. At the time, the only thing I knew about gay men was that they preferred men to women. This described me perfectly: I disliked girls, and my best friend in the world was my buddy Bill. Oh no, I'm going to hell."

When he brought up the issue with his grandmother — known to Vance as "Mamaw" — she replied bluntly: "Don't be a fucking idiot, how would you know that you're gay?"

When Vance explained his reasoning, she laughed.

"JD, do you want to suck dicks?" she said, according to the book.

The young Vance, apparently "flabbergasted," said: "Of course not!"

"Then you're not gay. And even if you did want to suck dicks, that would be okay," she replied. "God would still love you."

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 30 points 2 years ago (3 children)

There are gay men who don't like sucking dicks too, meemaw.

Just like there are straight women who don't like it.

[–] TheOctonaut@mander.xyz 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Mamaw was a hound for it. And that's okay, JD!

[–] Captainvaqina@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 years ago

Mamaw is just Great Gam Gam spelled backwards.

[–] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

She was doing her best

[–] dezmd@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

"I'm not gay! He sucked MY dick."

[–] Moah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 years ago

It's funny that those people are always on about how gay representation will lead to kids becoming gay, but here it's literally one of them trying to shame others, and literally threatening hell who leads to that kid's questioning.