Comic Strips

Man, war stories from Christmas in retail.

My first time around wasn't too bad. I was part of a team managing the back room inventory and, essentially, trying to force out merchandise that otherwise wouldn't fit on the shelves to keep the back room as clear as possible. That black Friday, I was assigned to guard a pallet of shit. It was blacked out so people wouldn't crowd highly desired items - TVs and such.

The next year, I was in the electronics department, as in, that was my post as I had transferred to the sales floor.

That year, oh that year, the Wii dropped. We'd get a pallet in, and we'd just wheel it out to the register to sell. Of course, it didn't start out that way. They were all locked in "the cage" and we had to get a manager to get them, one by one. That didn't last too long as the management team was pretty much just running Wiis back and forth.

To top it off, my former inventory control role and limited register training, I had to train an incoming store manager (who would make FAR more per day than I would, after taxes I made about 70 a day for an 8 hour shift) to use the register. And he was.... well, slow to learn. Which meant lines and issues - which would require a lower level of management to come handle - their response time, for a variety of reasons (busy season and sheer ~~idiocy~~ ~~laziness~~"level of business" slowed down.

Having only one register back in electronics, well... this sucked.

Why would you train someone at the BUSIEST TIME OF THE YEAR? I get it now though, after 10 years of retail and 11 in IT, the one thing I've been able to determine is that approximately 1% of management, anywhere, is competent.

That doesn't beat out the day I was asked to "help coverage."

Yeah, I worked my full shift, then was asked to stay on for four more hours, then four more. And I didn't take a second lunch. Now, the state I lived in didn't give a fuck. Its the kind of state that says "Oh its 100+ degrees out? Better pass legislation to make water breaks legal to ignore." Yeah, a lot of people died of dehydration and heat stroke in the construction industry after that. As far as I know, employers eased up on water breaks, but the legislation is still in effect. I digress, I got written up for not taking a second meal break. I was not released to do so, AFTER asking about it, and still written up.

After all of that, I moved to the automotive technician department.

It sucked, but for most of the time I had a decent boss. My first week I was struggling. Working outside in the summer, heavy uniform, covered in oil, and otherwise being out of shape.

That boss sent me inside, to sit in his office, and drink some cold water my first week. Knowing the company I worked for, I said I wasn't ready to take a break yet (I was a smoker at the time, and wanted to time out smoke breaks fairly steady) and he said it isn't a break. You're bright red and you stopped sweating 10 minutes ago. If you know, you know. So I did, and I remember that to this day. I remember good managers.

Thankfully, my black Friday/Christmas duties were mostly rescinded (I technically was still register trained, so I got called up to the front to kill lines) which was nice.

The point of this?

Retail is hell. Period.

Mandatory retail service might be more important to our continued culture (USA) than anything else, as hyper capitalist as we are.

Shit, my mom was a college graduate, taught for a little while (not her thing) before working for the government, which I'm not going to go into. She took an early retirement package, cause she could. Good for her. She got bored, went to work at a chain craft store. She realized, and had a long discussion with me, about how much of a CUNT she was to retail/service folks. Her words. It was nice to hear, because I was still neck deep in retail hell at the time.