this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2024
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Autism
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Everything my gal does is with a television on and it makes me literally sick to hear that chatter all day. She listens to it most of the time with headphones on (we got the cushiest of the cush and she actually likes it so win/win). I knew someone else who was ADHD and said they can't work without having a movie they've seen on in the background. I always think it's crazy because I can't even work with distracting music in the background, or a second monitor and my ass is ADHD too. It's too distracting, it's as if a siren is calling me from a liminal space and my brain heads to the clouds. Even with medication. I much prefer a single but sizeable (enough for me) monitor and everything super chill (I work on the floor most times).
I have always found ADHD stuff that pushes me over the edge are things that are like "flashy" and intended to draw attention. I was thinking why in that sense things might have gotten worse and I figured it's because our entire world is one giant slot-machine. So yeah, in that sense, it's absolutely awful. On the autist front the sensory stuff does distract but it "feels" way worse to me. As in, it prompts pain I guess? Is the best way to describe it. Ickies. It prompts ickies. Both are overwhelming af though. Idk how the fk I used to do clubs n shit, cause I went to a show recently and it blasted me into another universe. I still like music and what not, I just don't think I've got it on that level anymore.
My sib, who also has fun genetics goes ham-sandwich when they cross that threshold. I've snapped a time and two, but I think I am more of a "slip-out the backdoor and leave" kinda person. But either way, it's no fun and I am glad you're trying your damndest to find your happy middle.
p.s. - I know with stims autistic ones are for the feels and adhd are for the stimulation and maybe the sensory issues line up like that too? I also know stuff can show up differently between the genders, but I don't know entirely in what way because I haven't read too much into it and it's all pretty new. Either way, good luck on your travels fellow fighter =)~
Feel thisss! Yess! There's a huge overlap between the two by the by! AuDHD. I think they said 1/5 ADHD individuals are also Autistic. I'm just lucky I found someone who understands me, and vice versa. Yeah on the gender stuff a lot of women were thought to not be able to be autistic or ADHD. I am not sure when that changed but I really don't think it's been that long. But I think I read something like it teaches women to cope in different ways that basically allow them to "super mask" but ultiamtely masking is unhealthy. So, eh! I have a mixture of both. I forgot what it's called (maybe just mixed). But I always thought mind was explicitly inattentive, but later found out I was diagnosed with both.
Oh, one more thing before I go. I heard that gender and queerness can be (but not always) aligned with autism. I can't give you the scoop on that one cause I am about to hit the hay. But I think it comes down to being less adherent to gender roles/norms. Fist-bump =)~!
Oh yeah for sure. I am not saying if you're autistic you're definitively queer but it's just like I believe there's a high rate of LGBTQA+ members that are neurodivergent like off the cusp. Idk what your life is, but I just wanted to say I think it's kinda funny. But in general neurodivergent people don't understand the kinda superficial bull that a lot of society enforce. So eh! It's an uphill battle, but if you can figure out how to make it work you can be a huge innovator. Because you see and think differently, and can problem solve in ways that supesede normality. Kinda like how Betty Edwards tells you - you can flip a canvas upside down and learn how to draw that way and it shifts your perspective and changes the way you understand the very act. We're kinda like the automatic "flipping" of the canvas so to speak, because we understand the world in a very different way than the majority. Which if we can find a way to ground ourselves in the world, can be a very sought-after skill. But also know, there's bigots out the ass. I found a lot of places like it when you have a "hint of something interesting" but not when you come at them like a bird of paradise. Hahaha! Sounds like you've overcome a lot of the chaotic bits by forcing yourself through the system. But masking is fkin hard and it fucks us up good - take care of yourself! Big hugs, my brother! We got this =P!