this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2026
395 points (98.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

41783 readers
2955 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!

Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...

2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...

3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...

4. No Porn/ExplicitContent

-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...

5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts

-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...

6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.

Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)

Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
LillianVS@lemmy.world
WiildFiire@lemmy.world
Decoy321@lemmy.world
The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world
The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world
395
Pressing question (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 1 day ago by Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
40 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

This reminds me of one of the OG memes.

“In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil,” Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.

Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew “Kiki” Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. “I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in,” he explained. “As usual, Kiki shouted out ‘Armageddon,’ my cue that he’d had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn’t come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.”

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. “The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski’s hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil’s fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball.”

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract

[–] mugthol@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago

What happened to rhe gerbil?

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Ew, animals don't belong in rectums, neither do matches but that's up to them

[–] Ghost_Mermaid@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh, the poor gerbil!

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It was for the best. Neither man nor beast should ever see the things poor Raggot saw...