this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2026
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Memes
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Post memes here.
A meme is an idea, behavior, or style that spreads by means of imitation from person to person within a culture and often carries symbolic meaning representing a particular phenomenon or theme.
An Internet meme or meme, is a cultural item that is spread via the Internet, often through social media platforms. The name is by the concept of memes proposed by Richard Dawkins in 1972. Internet memes can take various forms, such as images, videos, GIFs, and various other viral sensations.
- Wait at least 2 months before reposting
- No explicitly political content (about political figures, political events, elections and so on), !politicalmemes@lemmy.ca can be better place for that
- Use NSFW marking accordingly
Laittakaa meemejä tänne.
- Odota ainakin 2 kuukautta ennen meemin postaamista uudelleen
- Ei selkeän poliittista sisältöä (poliitikoista, poliittisista tapahtumista, vaaleista jne) parempi paikka esim. !politicalmemes@lemmy.ca
- Merkitse K18-sisältö tarpeen mukaan
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You know what's going to be asked next, so here's the response:
"Sorry homie, I've been drinking"
In my restaurant there's a four drink minimum before you can start cooking or serving customers.
I got the least serious bollocking of my life from the manager of the bar I worked in when the exec team of the bar I worked in bought me 12 jagerbombs in a single shift
How much coke was involved?
for us plebs sadly none
12 jagerbombs and no coke is a war crime.
And no maximum?
Most people find their own maximum.
Some find it and just leave it faaaar behind them
Remember this scene in Ratatouille where Colette talks about the sordid pasts of the kitchen staff? Now consider that that was bowdlerized for a kids' movie, compared to reality.
TIL "bowdlerize" https://www.englishgrammar.org/bowdlerize-means-sanitize-book/
what a prude, that Thomas Bowdler. Shakespeare was too spicy for him!
Shakespeare's work has a lot of dirty jokes, they're just made with terminology modern English speakers don't know or don't realize was dirty back then.
And some of his lines are overt even to people today, like "What, with my tongue in your tail?" or when he uses a character named Bottom to make a lot of double entendres.
In my restaurant, I make all my female employees withstand uncomfortable sexual advances from me. I have lawsuits out the ass!
Sounds like you should go to jail.
Nah, I'm allowed to do this, write funny comments on the internet, because I am the police, retard
Your credentials check out continue on.
Ok, well, in that case, I'll take three mega bogus burgers with the twist melt nine times outta six, as well as a side of cheese fries, freaked not fried, and two cokes, one with cocaine in it the other diet, and if you could blend all that up and put it in my smoothie from this morning, I would be peaches, you crabcake dudzoltzer, you.
Would you like a side of sexual harassment to go with that?
Nah, that's free like the bag fries from Five Guys. That's actually shit I love; little psychological tricks that manifest wealth for no reason besides [human condition]. Like, people disproportionately overvalue the free fries they throw in the bag, because they're the fries they didn't have to give you. That's why my dick is ALWAYS whipped out between the hours of nine to five, and then during the night, I moonlight as a prostitute. I'm not good at it, but I really enjoy embarrassing myself in a slip on that corner.
"If you need extra hire, a friend is looking for a job, I could get you in touch"
Actually used this once, and it wasn't a lie or stretching the truth
Good call, never lie to your boss. Crack open a cold one as soon as the first text comes in
After. Just been drinking after.
"My grandma died.."
"My grandma's been drinking, gotta keep an eye on her."
"I'm my grandma's tripsitter tonight."