this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2026
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The term "male socialized" is mostly used to try to split trans and cis women appart. People that use this word basically use the logic men are bad, and they behave bad, and if one (trans) woman was treated as a man before they adopt that behaviour.
This is just a way to basically call trans people their Asigned gender at birth without really doing so.
People tried to "socialize" me as male a long time and guess what? It did not work. Like I was and still am a woman. The thing I rather say when talking about that concept is that people treated me as if I were male.
This is a thing i struggle with a lot because i realized i was trans late. So the term makes sense to me on a superficial level. But it also ignores the lifetime of struggle i had trying to fit in as a male, and disliking so many aspects of male socialization. The term is avoiding conflict, while still denying the experience of trans women.
Also to add to your point, so much of anti-trans rhetoric is structured around the idea that all cis men are actively preying women.
It's crazy to me, i thoght the bathroom thing was about cis men pretending to be trans, i missed the part where the crazies thought that trans people themselves were a danger???
That's the thing, the whole idea is a denial of trans existence, because trans women dont exist, its just cis men pretending so they can invade women's spaces. Because its so much easier to go through therapy, and doctors visits, learn how to dress an present as a woman, endure the stigma, run the much higher risk of assault, possibly be ostracized by society, lose one's livelihood, and run a much higher risk of suicide than to just follow a woman into the bathroom with intent to harm her.
Oh. That is truly the dumbest most asinine logic I've ever heard. (Them not you ofc)
Thanks for the input.
Also, thats just fundamentally not how socializing works with humans. I mean yeah, your environment can impart traits on you. But it can also not. Like, I grew up in the south. Lots of racism. Lots of homophobia and bigotry. Im not a fan of hating on people of a lesser minority, and definitely believe anybody should be comfortable in their own skin and love who they love.
Also, you can easily 'resocialize'. Ask literally anybody if they have a friend who started dating someone they didnt like, and if that friend started to act like their partner. Then ask if they broke up if they went back to normal.
Yes you seem to get it!
Resocializing is also a big part of transition for many Trans people, becuase the world around you is literally starting to treat you different and expecting you to exhibit certain behavior. Navigating that can be difficult but also so fullfiling.
Ah, it's TERF logic. This is the first time I've heard this term, but that makes sense for them to be using. Just another excuse to exclude trans people.
You trying to tell me what my experience of this world was and is like is really rude and ignorant.
Like obviously I adopted some bad/toxic behaviour of people treating me like a man but you can unlearn that, be better.
Silly example: lots of men do not wash their hands after using the toilet, it is in male circles generally accepted as normal behaviour. When transitioning I very quickly washed my hands everytime, because of how normal it is for all women in the bathroom to just wait their turn to wahs their hands...
Am I now "feeeemale socializeeed" wahahahahha?
No I would not even say so.
female and male, in this context, are used to mostly describe the bad manly and good womanly behavior.
This bad male behavioral traits however, you will notice are not exclusive to men in your life. If a cis women is speaking up loud and interrupts other people (and there are those that do this) you would not call them male socialized but obnoxious, inconsiderate and loud. There is literally no reason why you should not just call out bad behavior for what it is, rather than to blame a persons asigned gender at birth for it.
Just do not push your ideals of gender on the behavior of people, judge them by their character.
I get what you're saying, but also, it's an intellectually bankrupt idea. For the idea of male or female socialization to have any consistent meaning, it must assume some cultural universality in the constructs of of maleness and femaleness. Additionally, lending the idea credence requires ignoring the reality of cultural, regional, and individual variation in the ways that individuals are socialized. It's one of thos e things that make sense if you don't think too hard about it.
The use of "male socialization" (it's invariably "male socialization" because trans men are invisible to transphobes) to invalidate the gender identity of transgender folks without discarding gender altogether raises too many intractable questions to survive scrutiny. Is a girl raised around men who make no meaningful distinction in her treatment, who is a tomboy and ends up working in the trades and considers herself "one of the guys" "female socialized" despite the fact she has neither knowledge nor interest in what the dominant culture considers feminine? If the answer is yes, it can only be the saddest, most technically correct "yes" imaginable. If it's a yes, it's a useless yes that illuminates nothing.
Honestly, I don't have the patience for a lot of this navel gazing queer theory.
We're talking human beings, not mathematical proofs. You can't disprove a concept that applies to 99% of the population by citing edge cases that only apply to 1%. You're making the mistake of seeing me use words like "most," editing that in your head so you think I said "all."
You need to get out of the ivory tower. You're too deep in theory to see the real world. Edge cases don't disprove the fact that 99% of trans women will have been treated according to male gender norns as a child, and vice versa for trans men.
Navel gazing about intersectionality doesn't change this fact. Yes, every culture has slightly different standards for male/female socialization. All that means is that you'll have been socialized according to the norms of your culture. That doesn't erase socialization. It just means trans women in India have a slightly different experience with male socialization than trans women in the US do.
Every country has slightly different currency. That doesn't mean we can pretend that money is a concept with no universal meaning.