"Quotes"

My brother in Christ, the President of the United States of America is a convicted rapist pedophile part of an international human trafficking ring. Rape culture is not just a term that refers to "when you rape someone and other men don't stop you," it describes cultural norms that facilitate gender based and sexual violence, like slut-shaming, victim blaming, objectifying women at all, devaluing women's sexual pleasure. It also includes what is recognized as sexual violence. So, you mentioned someone grabbing a woman's ass, which positions sexual assault in a workplace; probably the most common setting in our cultural imagination besides somewhere random by a stranger. Sexual violence is more likely to come from someone you know closely, like a friend, family member, or romantic/sexual partner. Your assumption of what rape culture is is itself an example of how it contributes to misunderstandings of what sexual violence is and therefore helps facilitate it through that misunderstanding. I think it'd be a tremendous lapse in awareness to suggest those are not normal things in this culture just because a handful of libs say they don't like it that much anymore without doing anything to actually change that. Did you forget about fuggin' Gamergate?

Since a lot of sexual violence prevention curricula are designed with student bodies in mind, as in a high school or university setting, much of the research conducted to educate on sexual violence prevention is therefore dedicated to getting men to fucking stop doing it, because they are overwhelmingly responsible for perpetration of sexual violence and reproduction of that culture.

Some basic sources to educate yourself and any others who come across this:

Sills, Sophie, Chelsea Pickens, Karishma Beach, et al. 2016. “Rape Culture and Social Media: Young Critics and a Feminist Counterpublic.” Feminist Media Studies (Abingdon) 16 (6): 935–51. https://doi.org/10.1080/14680777.2015.1137962.

Henry, Nicola, and Anastasia Powell, eds. 2014. Preventing Sexual Violence : Interdisciplinary Approaches to Overcoming a Rape Culture. Palgrave Macmillan.

Fanghanel, Alexandra, and Alexandra Fanghanel. 2018. “How to Break a Rape Culture: Gendered Fear of Crime and the Myth of the Stranger-Rapist.” In The Routledge International Handbook on Fear of Crime, 1st ed., edited by Murray Lee and Gabe Mythen. Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315651781-29.

You need to understand just how pervasive it is, to the point that most men you know over a certain age (let's say 25) have absolutely raped someone by accident, with the word rape being defined as sex without explicit and enthusiastic consent.

Most rape is not ugly, most rape is not violent, most rape is clumsy and grey-area because someone pushed boundaries and the other person didn't communicate them or didn't feel safe saying "stop". Most men who have raped are not bad men, they were not properly educated on consent, hence the huuuge focus on teaching people about consent at a very young age. When everyone understands consent, we are able to prevent these situations.

Like fuck, there are still so many people out there who will say asking for consent "ruins the mood", which is something they were taught to feel by popular culture (movies, etc.), and this is how rape culture is perpetuated. We are all complicit until we are all serious about learning about rape culture and how it invades our media, and calling out our friends when they make stupid jokes that also perpetuate rape culture. Treating rape like it's all violent is also perpetuating rape culture, because it ignores all the times it is not violent, which is most rapes.

Rape culture is so much less obvious than the examples you've listed.