this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2026
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i just dont know what to do anymore. i have a healthy sex drive, i meet people i like, i have sex with them, and it just never really feels that good. i meet girls who can just cum and cum, and i can only seem to do it at home by myself... and even then its so fucking hard. it doesnt matter if i masturbate or not, how into the person or situation i am, no matter what i do or they do. im literally crying writing this. i had the best experience of my life the other day, by a lot, and i still couldn't cum. im just so tired... i want to enjoy it like other people do but i just cant. i feel like im broken and theres nothing i can do to fix it, and somehow things got worse when i started estrogen. prog just makes me hornier but doesnt make things feel better. it feels like theres nothing left to do so this is just screaming into the void because i have no one in my life to talk to about this stuff. fuck... fucking fuck...

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[–] YarrMatey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

The worry and anxiety about it makes it worse like a bad cycle but I eventually got through it so I believe in you being able to as well. You might have to focus more on you first, play music, or read a smutty book or take a bath or anything to pamper and kinda set a mood for yourself. Partner comes after that, I found a partner made the anxiety worse in the beginning. You want to avoid the 'brakes'. Try to avoid the pressure of having to perform.

I turned out to have a strong pelvic floor that had a lot of trouble relaxing and so exercises like deep breathing through the pelvic floor helped and I still use it. One go-to for me is doing a happy baby yoga pose and deep breathing in the pose. I had to use dialators at one point for point release. It was a whole process! It's hard to know if your pelvic floor is too tense or not strong enough or a mix of both, there was this subreddit I use to read a lot about it. Fuck reddit but they had a community for everything lol.