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My original post was misleading. I normally just wipe the cast iron with a towel to clean it, rinse it with a minimal amount of water and then season it again before I use it again. I'm leaving heavily towards cast iron being the answer, I just need to get my family to come around.
The hardest part is getting everyone on the same page about using it and caring for it correctly. Stainless steel is my choice because the maintenance is not something that can be messed up. If someone burns something on it, you do whatever you want to it. Soak it, scrape it, use whatever chemicals you want.
If you feel like your stainless steel isn't as good as it used to be, give it a good baking soda scour, rinse, then wash it in vinegar (I'll usually heat it up on the stove a bit to force it along). The baking soda will scratch off any carbonized food and the vinegar will dissolve any minerals. Both polish and restore the shine on stainless steel
Like others have said, check out carbon steel. It might offer the right compromise to satisfy everyone.
I also own a "LiFe pan." lightweight cast iron - the name is a pun. Picked it up on a whim at Home Goods years ago, because I was curious about it.
www.amazon.com/iko-lightweight-stainless-vegetable-pre-seasoned/dp/b01lonjtps
It's now one of my favorite pans. Seasons just like cast iron, and has built up a really nice polymerized coating over the years.
They've never been popular, so I don't know how easy it would be to find one.
I've seen two kinds of lightweight cast iron: Standard, or with a non-stick coating. Do not get coated ones. If you try it, get the standard.