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Ex-girlfriend of Graham Platner says he removed condoms without consent during sex
(www.washingtonpost.com)
this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2026
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I don't wanna be that guy, but purposefully removing a condom during sex without consent is rape.
We’ve got weirdos pretending that this waters down the term rape in this thread, lovely.
When you are having sex with someone, presumably you are trusting them? You are trusting them to be safe, to not push boundaries, to do only things you consent to do.
When someone stealths you, they are saying that they don’t give a fuck about you. That trust was misplaced. They are willing to do something to you that you explicitly did not want. Are they going to stop there? (The same type also often pushes for anal/“accidentally” attempts penetration there.)
It’s terrifying and traumatic. Your head races - are you current on your birth control? How likely do you think it is that this guy has some disease? And you get a physical reminder that your consent didn’t matter, the sensation and needing to clean up after if they finished.
It’s also so goddamned common. It’s trivialized.
If you slip the condom off without someone’s consent, you are a rapist. Rape fucks victims up whether it’s a stranger in the bushes or a FWB stealthing you.
Thank you for pointing out why it is rape. It appears to be needed for some people here.
You can be that guy. I'll be that guy along with you.
The other allegation is also rape since he didn't stop when she asked him to multiple times
Yes, but just clarifying that this does mean that there is a pattern of behavior for rape.
Agreed
Why would you not wanna be that guy? That’s the reality of it.
Then don't be. Rape is too overloaded. Find a more descriptive term.
"I consent to protected sex" is not equivalent to "I consent to unprotected sex."
Rape means here is no valid consent to the sexual act itself (or consent is obtained through force, coercion, incapacity, etc.).
The sexual act in question is unprotected sex. The man had no valid consent to the sexual act itself. Consent was not obtained. The woman's bodily autonomy was violated.
He knew this when he tried to take it off. Otherwise he could have consentfully never used it.
Exactly, it's more than just rape. It rape with intent to deceive or something. That's why it needs a more descriptive term.
Rape describes the action which took place. Deceit describes the manner in which it took place.
Just like aggravated rape. It communicates additional crimes, and supports longer sentences.
I think I get where you’re coming from, but it’s still rape. You could categorize it, sure, but it should still have rape in the name just like aggravated rape does. Point being that some losers like to call it stealthing. But we already had to word for that stuff, “rape.”
Oh sure, rape can certainly still be part of the term. No issue with that. Didn't really think there was any reason it shouldn't be. But "just" calling it rape seems an injustice.
Well, I’d argue that it’s similar to raping someone who is unconscious. Because the act of removing a condom is, in effect, a manner of violating personal autonomy without their knowledge. With aggregated rape, presuming that means forceful, the victim knows what’s happening.
I’d even stick by this assessment because, should the victim become aware during the act and express discontent — it can then become aggravated rape, as well. Hell, even if the victim doesn’t express anything… because a victim could notice the initial form, then become too scared to directly address the matter. That ought count as both forms still, right?
I would be in favor of distinguishing between the two forms, legally, if it meant that perpetrators can get hit with both charges at the same time.
I am in favor of it being two charges. I really think there should be a bunch of them really. It's just not one type of crime. It is many. Like raping a prepubescent child is a charge on top of rape, and likely another charge for abuse of trust position based rape as well. The punishment and required treatment are different than for raping a 17 year old who the person held no position of trust or power over (like a 22 year old boyfriend type situation). Currrently they are both just "rape" in some states.
This is like when a Muslim family is attacked and the comments are all debating if racism is the correct term since Muslim isn't a race.
It's just muddying the waters, destructing from the crime and the victims, and providing cover for the wrongdoers.
No. It's not like that.
Both are arguing over the technical definition instead if the injustice committed. It's exactly like that.
One is argueing that no injustice took place (racism). The other is arguing that two injustices took place. That's not the same.
You're confusing me, can you dumb it down
we're not here to censore violence and minimize what happened to an actual victim of violence because your sensitive ears cant hear it. you and your delicate ears are not the victim here. the rape victim is. stop making their trajedy about your ears.
be a better person than this.
You loaded a lot of BS into my words that wasn't there just to feel superior. Be a better person.
We don't need to load any BS into your words, there's plenty on display.
So, since you only see what you want to, let me spell it out. They already have various categories of rape. Like aggravated rape and such. These are like rape+. I am saying a more descriptive term like that should be used to highlight the heinousness of the crime. But you refuse to see that. You just want to be righteous so bad you will make up something to be righteous about.
You're tone policing now.
YATA. Meet my block list.
Perfect, anyone who is incapable of understanding this concept, please do block me. That will save me the trouble of having to explain to people who's minds are made up and don't want to rethink their opinion in light of new information.
It's rape.
Excellent attempt at a mic drop. You wouldn't want to go and admit that you completely misread what I have been saying all along. That would just be horrible.
Putting your dick in someone without their consent is rape. She did not consent to him taking the condom off. This isn't a grey area.
There is another term for it, however, it still fits the bill as rape.
I don't wanna be that guy, but it is rape. If you think that it isn't, it's on you to find the descriptive term, not me.
So the guy is also accused of not stopping when she said stop. That is also rape. Do you not see a problem with calling them both rape? Which sounds worse, 2 counts of rape. Or 1 count of rape and one count of . To me the second one conveys that he has a pattern of disregard for women beyond just one situation. I also think the condom thing shows intentional deception, where as he could claim he was too far into it to stop when she told him to. Combined as seperate things, they are more incriminating.
...No????
They ARE both rape.
Just because one rape is different from another rape doesn't mean they're not both rape, what the actual fuck are you talking about.
One is rape, and the other is like rape+. But the plus is getting lost without a more descriptive term.
This made my skin crawl.
Yeah, but we know some judges and jury's would accept this excuse. So using a more descriptive term would better represent the crime to those who might otherwise consider it less serious than it should be.
No, we should use legal terms in a court of law.
I thought about what you said for a little while. After thinking hard, I believe I found the correct term for this kind of behavior. The term I came up with is "rape". What do you think?
What if it slips off because your dick is too small?
Maybe he’s got a thin penis like the detective in Deuce Bigalo Male Gigalo
Well, if it fell off six times, he might have a micropenis.
That would explain the Nazi tattoo 😂