this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2026
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

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I wish that suffering was minimised across every being capable of suffering, and then, keeping suffering at a mimimum, pleasure was maximised across all beings capable of experiencing pleasure (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 3 days ago by TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works to c/monkeyspaw@sopuli.xyz
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[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Granted, every sentient being immediately dies so they can no longer suffer

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 3 days ago

But they all cum first like in "never stop blowing up"